The Best Is Yet To Come

EDITED by Crystal

    The best is yet to come. That was Joe's motto, and one of the last things he ever said to me while in his final trip to the VA in Temple, Texas. Joe was a retired Sargent Major, three bronze stars, a silver, and a purple heart, Vietnam. He was also married to my ex-wife, and I jokingly referred to him as my "husband in law." Joe loved to work with wood. He built altars for the church, carved images in wood, and doubled the size of his house in Killeen, all by himself. He cooked,too. I think Joe could've cooked a combat boot and made  it taste like prime rib. 

    He was married to his wife, Jackie, for forty-five years, and she finally died on him. He lived alone until he met my ex. She had a heart condition and no medical, so Joe fixed that. He married her and gave her his benefits. Literally saved her life. Life is never fair. As Joe tinkered in his wood shop, within his lungs Agent Orange was doing was it was always designed to do, and what the Viet Cong could not accomplish, his own government finished the job! 

    I came back from California, and he put me in his garage apartment as he worked on his old house, which was never done, and I watched over the property for him.  At first Joe didn't know how to take me. I was fresh out of California, pony tail down to my butt, setting up a full bar in my room, with an endless stream of visitors dropping by to have drinks, and discuss Texas politics. Being from Buffalo, New York, Joe didn't even think Texas HAD politics, and any thought of secession was beyond him. A year or so later as he read The Dam Good Times, he began to understand more and more about the Texas situation. 

    As we talked over three years, Joe developed a dream. As I told him tales of the California desert, he got a yearning to travel to Occatillo Wells. The last time he was there was in the 60s, and he drove a tank. This time he wanted to drive a dune buggy! But, the proverbial clock was ticking for Joe. What began as what was thought to be Parkinson's ended up being called Alzheimer's, and finally got called what it was  . . . CANCER! Agent Orange had ravaged his whole body, and with each trip to the VA, a new diagnosis was developed, and Occatillo Wells drifted farther, and farther away. During this time, Joe bought a home in Brigham City, Utah. He called it the big blue house, and it was. He shuffled between the VA in Salt Lake City UT and Temple, TX trying to replace the blood that Agent Orange was slowly drinking.

    The devastating CPS case that my grandchildren had endured had left them destitute. Well, the old sarge fixed that too. Although too weak to walk into the court room, he hired lawyers and appeared in court via FaceTime, adopted his five little “buddies",  and set them up for life! New Baby became Joseph Steven Tarajos, and if you don't believe that, just ask him, he'll let you know! 

    From that point it was endless trips to the VA to get blood, and endless hours on the couch. He got a Hoveround, but couldn't operate it until I showed him that it steered just like a tank. He could get to the car, but could not drive, and it humiliated him to have his “husband-in-law" load him up in the passenger's  seat for yet another trip to the hospital. His “husband-in-law” was honored.

    A week before he died Joe was looking for an RV to take to California. He knew better. It was for his little "buddies." When I loaded him up for his last trip to the hospital he told me, "Men don't cry." He checked into the VA that Friday. He sunk lower, and lower over the weekend, and on Monday he called me. He wanted an order of chicken wings and his chiuaua that we'd recently got for him to replace his beloved "Cleo" who died the year before. The nursing staff let the little dog in, and Joe fed it the wings. 

   He told the nurses that I was his best friend. When the priest came to administer his last rites, Joe couldn't come up with any sins to confess. He asked me which direction Ocatillo Wells was, and I pointed through the window toward the west. He turned his head that way and said, "The best is yet to come.”  I took the little dog and left to take it home. 

    They transferred Joe to ICU as I was driving home, and an hour later he looked at his wife and said, "Oh, baby”, and quietly slipped away. When I got home I got a single text, "He's gone." Over the next few days there was the usual rush to finalize all the paperwork. Joe wanted to be at Arlington. He got San Antonio. About a week later I was napping alone and I heard his voice distinctly call my name, "W!" He always called me that as a kind of joke. Joe was a lifelong Democrat. Then, I clearly heard as I woke, "The  best is yet to come!" I got up and walked  to the front door and I looked to the west. I felt a great sadness as I realized Joe never got to Ocatillo Wells, but then it hit me . . . Maybe he did. The best is yet to come!  

Simple Ol' Boy From Austin

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Crystal Laramore

Publisher

The Dam Good Times, LLC

609 Bradford Avenue, Ste. 108B

Kemah, TX 77565

281.332.5710

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Just My Luck, God's a Texan . . .

    If I were as wrong about so many things as Mohammed, danged if I wouldn't have found another job! The man could NOT write, and I mean that literally, or rather, illiterally. Hey, I just made that up. That's your new word of the day. Anyway, where was I, oh yes, Mohammed. Anyway, he had a pretty good gig running camels across the desert, and married to a rich old lady, but then there was this cave, and an ANGEL! Oh yes, we had an angel. You know, every time someone comes up with some sexually driven nonsense they always blame it on an angel. I personally have never seen an angel, unless you count that girl I picked up at Cody's one time, but the next day she misplaced her wings, but I'd rather not talk about that right now. 

    As Mo progressed  toward being king of the towel heads he'd go into these rants, usually having something to do with whatever pipe dream he was chasing at the time. Think I'm lying? Check out the "Satanic Verses." Seems there was these three girls, and, well, they lost THEIR wings, too. When caught in this cluster screw, and it didn't make any sense to any of the other rag heads he tried to tell 'em, "The Devil made me do it." Oh, that's the other big trick. Any time some "prophet" gets caught with his pants down he says the "Devil" tricked him into it. DUDE! If you're like, a PROPHET, ain't you supposed to know what the Devil looks like? I personally think he might look like Velma Prigmore back in high school. She led more of us to sin than anyone else I know. 

    Anyway, Mo ate some poison goat, and about two years later he stopped prophesying, cause he was like, dead! Then the fun really started. If you think Mo was crazy just take a look at act II! There came to pass (got that line from the Book of Mormon) there was  these things called "Sayings Of Mohammed," which loosely translated were things that were so stupid no one mentioned it during his lifetime because there was a distinct possibility of losing your mind, literally! THAT is where we get all these little jewels about what it takes to properly dance around the ol' Kaaba, beat the devil out of the wife of your choice, AND never marry a chick before the age of five. Then there's this image thing. Muslims don't want anybody drawing any pictures of the prophet. Supposedly they hold to the "graven image" thing, and don't want anyone paying more attention to anything than they do God, but then they pray in the direction of this big ol' rock in Mecca, and hold onto another rock in Jerusalem like it was property on the Vegas Strip. You see, whenever you have "religion" you always have two sets of rules. The rules for the "equals" and the ones for the "equalizers." Hey, there's another new word. I'm a virtual Daniel Webster. You can't draw Mo, but if you're a Muzzie you gotta go and walk seven times around a big stone building in Mecca at least once in your life. Ibn Al Arabi did it, and became enameled with some girl called Nizām (see where this always goes folks?) 

    So, Friday we got the treat of yet another "Draw Mohammed" contest. I couldn't make it, but I'm going,to place my entry at the end of this article. Seems all,these bikers showed up, though far less than the one hundred thousand expected, those guys were all headed to Waco, and held this art exhibit it right NEXT to a Mosque.  Nice touch. I mean if you want to really irritate someone just go urinate  on their tomatoes, right? Well, there wasn't any Jihad, and I don't know who won the contest, or what what the grand prize was, probably a thirty pack of Bud and an order or baby back ribs, I don't know. The organizer went into hiding because ISIS wants to cut his head off, and other organizers are planning other venues to enlighten the great unwashed as to what Prophet Mo might have looked like. THIS is what replaced American Idol, folks. 

    Anyway, I'm going to submit MY entry here, and hope ISIS doesn't come cut my head off, but if they do, no matter, I'm not using it anyway. I don't care WHAT Prophet Mo looked like. I'm still squabbling with a black preacher about what COLOR Jesus was. I hold to the words of the Prophet Kinky Friedman: Just my luck, God's a Texan, one great big blankety blank Anglo Saxon, sitting up there playing with a Quigi Board . . .

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Bonnie and Clyde Didn't HAVE No Cellphone

     Good Lord willing, and the creek don't rise, tomorrow, at 4:00 PM, New York time, you should be able to make a phone call, and some pervert in Utah won't be listening in! That provision of the Patriot Act that enabled the NSA to do what would put you and I in jail will pass into history. Thank God, and Edward Snowden.

    I have noticed something over the years. Any time you try to blend the words "intelligence" and "government" you get a mustard and jelly sandwich. As more and more money processes through the government gumshoe express, less and less gets done, and the selected agency will practically live on Capitol Hill, giving long, detailed renditions of how the entire country will dissolve like an Alka Seltzer should they miss even one dollar in the upcoming fiscal year. Just like those idiotic cops this week in Austin, sitting there with a gun on their hip, trying to explain why we shouldn't have a gun on OUR hip! THAT kind of dog and pony show!

    Now let's examine this. How many terrorists has the NSA nabbed that stemmed from the billions spent hiring people eavesdropping on Claire, and her eighty year old twin sister out in Lampasas, Texas discussing Bar B Que recipes? Let's see, them fellers up in Boston? No, missed that. How about those two guys up in Garland? No, I think Pamela Geller got them. With all this time and money I'm sure they caught SOMEbody. They did stick their hands in my pants at an airport out in LA. No, that wasn't the NSA that was the TSA. I know . . . They caught SNOWDEN! Wrong again, he caught THEM. Well, they did get some nice computers, and a bunch or real swanky buildings. But, so did the Mormon Church, and all they want to do is get you off coffee. 

    Did you notice how when Putin let Snowden stay in Russia he didn't seem to be interested in what Edward had? That's 'cause there wasn't anything THERE, folks! All them there terabytes of information with no more import than a Betty Crocker Cook Book. And you're PAYING these people! Oh, entities like the NSA, CIA, FBI, and all the rest are real good at ticking people off, starting wars and riots, but let someone such as Osama Bin Forgotten sit twenty five miles away, sipping on fruit juice, and looking at pictures of naked goats, and they're clueless! The "intelligence" gathering think tanks are remarkably consistent at this. They missed all those Japanese planes at Pearl Harbor, and told nineteen wild eyed fanatics to "have a nice flight" on 9/11! Now, I'm just a simple ol' boy from Austin, but am I missing something here? Any Texas deputy sheriff would have sniffed at those pressure cookers in Boston that day and said, "There ain't no brisket in there!" 

    Bonnie and Clyde didn't HAVE a cell phone. They had Frank Hamer hot on their butts with five very irritated Texas Rangers. A Texas Sheriff chased Henry Lee Lucas all the way to California, and dragged his screaming butt all the way back to Texas. Uh, Henry didn't have a cell phone either. 

    Hey, I've got an idea, why don't we do this. First off, stop meddling in the affairs of other countries that we are supporting. Let THEM run their show on THEIR dime. I think scrounging for a sandwich might take the zeal out of Allah, what do you think? Next, stop letting unemployed criminals come across the border and take up residence in condos in Dilly, Texas. That might be a good idea, huh, and last but not least, don't let any more ARABS fly on planes! HEY, I should run for president, I really should!

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The Best Is Yet To Come

     The best is yet to come. That was Joe's motto, and one of the last things he ever said to me while in his final trip to the VA in Temple, Texas. Joe was a retired Sargent Major, three bronze stars, a silver, and a purple heart, Vietnam. He was also married to my ex-wife, and I jokingly referred to him as my "husband in law." Joe loved to work with wood. He built altars for the church, carved images in wood, and doubled the size of his house in Killeen, all by himself. He cooked,too. I think Joe could've cooked a combat boot and made  it taste like prime rib. 

     He was married to his wife, Jackie, for forty-five years, and she finally died on him. He lived alone until he met my ex. She had a heart condition and no medical, so Joe fixed that. He married her and gave her his benefits. Literally saved her life. Life is never fair. As Joe tinkered in his wood shop, within his lungs Agent Orange was doing was it was always designed to do, and what the Viet Cong could not accomplish, his own government finished the job! 

     I came back from California, and he put me in his garage apartment as he worked on his old house, which was never done, and I watched over the property for him.  At first Joe didn't know how to take me. I was fresh out of California, pony tail down to my butt, setting up a full bar in my room, with an endless stream of visitors dropping by to have drinks, and discuss Texas politics. Being from Buffalo, New York, Joe didn't even think Texas HAD politics, and any thought of secession was beyond him. A year or so later as he read the Dam Good Times, he began to understand more and more about the Texas situation. 

     As we talked over three years Joe developed a dream. As I told him tales of the California desert, he got a yearning to travel to Occatillo Wells. The last time he was there was in the 60s, and he drove a tank. He wanted to drive a dune buggy! But the clock was ticking for Joe. What began as what was thought to be Parkinson's ended up being called   Alzheimer's, finally got called what it was  . . . CANCER! Agent Orange had ravaged his whole body, and with each trip to the VA, a new diagnosis was developed, and Occatillo Wells drifted farther, and farther away. During this time he bought a home in Brigham City, Utah. He called it the big blue house, and it was. He shuffled between the VA in Salt Lake City, and Temple, trying to replace the blood that Agent Orange was slowly eating away.

     The devastating CPS case that my grandchildren had endured had left them destitute. Well, the old sarge fixed that, too. Although too weak to walk into the court room, he hired lawyers and appeared in court via FaceTime, adopted his five little "buddies,"  and set them up for life! New Baby became Joseph Steven Tarajos, and if you don't believe that, just ask him, he'll let you know! 

     From that point it was endless trips to the VA to get blood, and endless hours on the couch. He got a Hoveround, but couldn't operate it until I showed him that it steered just like a tank. He could get to the car, but could not drive, and it humiliated him to have his "husband in law" load him up in the passenger's  seat for yet another trip to the hospital. 

     A week before he died Joe was looking for an RV to take to California. He knew better. It was for his little "buddies." When I loaded him up for his last trip to the hospital he told me, "Men don't cry." He checked into the VA that Friday. He sunk lower and lower over the weekend, and on Monday he called me. He wanted an order of chicken wings and his chiuaua that we'd recently got for him to replace his beloved "Cleo" that died the year before. The nursing staff let the little dog in, and Joe fed it the wings. 

    He told the nurses that I was his best friend. When the priest came to administer the last rites Joe couldn't come up with any sins to confess. He asked me which direction Ocatillo Wells was, and I pointed through the window toward the west. He turned his head that way and said, "The best is yet to come." I took the little dog, and left to take it home. 

     They transferred Joe to ICU as I was driving home, and an hour later he looked at his wife, said, "Oh, baby," and quietly slipped away. When I got home I got a single text, "He's gone." Over the next few days there was the usual rush to finalize all the paperwork. Joe wanted to be at Arlington. He got San Antonio. About a week later I was napping alone, and I heard his voice distinctly call my name, "W!" He always called me that as a kind of joke. Joe was a lifelong Democrat. Then, I clearly heard as I woke, "The  best is yet to come!" I got up and walked  to the front door and I looked to the west. I felt a great sadness as I realized Joe never got to Ocatillo Wells, but then it hit me . . . Maybe he did. The best is yet to come!  

White Trash and Skinny Texas Girls

     When people ask me how I get my unique perspective on things I always tell them I'm just a simple ol' boy from Austin, but really there's another level that remains hidden. I'm poor white trash. Moreover, I'm TEXAS poor white trash, and that's the whitest, trashiest trash there is! I actually grew up in a little village called Simmonsville. Old drunken Harry Simmons bought the old Killeen city dump, and built his Texas version of Shangri  La right on top of it.  Of course he had the biggest house in town, and even had a handy man, Bob White.  When Harry mysteriously died, Bob married his widow and assumed the estate. 

     Surprisingly there weren't any trailers in Simmonsville, but there sure as heck were claptrap shacks and adobe huts everywhere. Now, the Ellises actually had land down along Nolan Creek. The Ellises were crazy, but the Mitchells, a little farther down the draw, were crazy-ER! Before you get this iconic image in your head of Nolan Creek being a babbling brook with beautiful trees hanging lazily over the water, we hadn't invented sewer systems yet, get my drift? The water was oily green, so full of soap that suds towered over our heads, and instead of quick sand we had something along the banks of a slightly different consistency, and smell.  And we SWAM in it . . . naked! 

     On the east side of Simmonsville was a sprawling cattle ranch called "Springer's" because a man named Springer owned it, and about five miles down the highway on the west was the metropolis of Killeen! Of course Fort Hood was on the other side of that, but we didn't know anything about them fellers. They were too far away and they were Yankees, anyway. 

     Race was real simple in Simmonsville. There were us white folk, of course, and just across the highway was a place called Marlboro Heights, named after the cigarette I suppose, where the black folk lived. Uh, we didn't mix a whole lot. About the only time we mingled was when they stuck us all on a school bus and sent us off in a vain attempt to teach us to read. I never saw an Asian, except on TV, and EVERY brown person was a Mexican. Now Mexicans back then were different than what we have now. There was a certain pride to being a wetback. A Mexican who was actually an American citizen was a dehydrated Mexican, and a Mexican national was a Mexican with a pedigree. That's why I refer to Muslims as Mexicans to this day, and it filtered down to my kids. My son, the Chief, when I expressed concern as to his many tours of the Middle East, told me, "Shucks dad, ain't nobody over there but the help!" 

     And we had law enforcement on the form of officer Jackson. Now, officer Jackson didn't have a Taser, or mace, or any knowledge of the law. What he did have was a Colt Police Special, and a big ol' can of "WhoopAss!" We NEVER considered shooting at Officer Jackson. We might hit him, and that would just make him mad! By and by, when Simmonsville was incorporated into Killeen, they sent cops to arrest all of us kids for some kind of "investigation." They had it in their heads that we were some kind of "organized crime." They brow beat us all for hours, and to be honest, none of us crackers had any idea what they were talking about, but then they made a critical error . . . they FED us! We didn't know anything about the Mafia, or any of that Yankee nonsense,  but we knew what bail was, and we didn't want any part of it! There was beds, and food, and DOMINOS!  They finally  threw us out of the jail house, and we stumbled back to Simmonsville,  and Officer Jackson's waiting arms. 

     There's this mythical image of the beautiful Texas girl in jeans, blonde hair, beautiful curves, breath smells like Carnation milk. Verily, verily I say unto thee that such a creature never existed. That girl in the pool in the picture, "The Last Picture Show" was a California actress! Real Texas girls wore sack dresses and all looked like Olive Oyl. They never wore jeans because jeans didn't come with legs that skinny. If you wanted a girl who looked like a girl you had to find yourself a Mexican. It wasn't until Monsanto came along and screwed up the food that white Texas girls had any kind of shape at all. But MEXICAN chicks? They were ready to be married at fourteen, and ready for Social Security by twenty! And some of the rules still stick, I met Crystal Lee Laramore down in Austin recently. Beautiful woman! Poised, educated, got some money, breath smelled like Carnation milk. I still caught myself looking behind her ears, because a girl with clean ears is the mark of a lady! 

     Nobody had any kind of education. Most of us eventually learned to read, I say most because reading was not required in order to run a still, or make beer, and yeah we did that, deal with it. I don't know to this day how I learned to read, I just know that somewhere along the eighth grade or so I no longer had to look at the pictures on the cans to know what I was about to eat. And we could eat rotten meat. In a place filled with tortillas and beans meat was a delicacy, fresh or otherwise. There have been times when people would be throwing up the soles of their feet after dinner and I'd just be going for seconds. 

     When I reflect back on my youth I'd like to tell you I wouldn't want it any other way, only I'm not crazy! I have a timer set so as to take my blood pressure medicine on time every day, whereas in Simmonsville, if you stepped on a rusty nail, and your jaws didn't lock up in ten days you were good to go. I crappith thee NOT!

From The OK Corral to Twin Peaks

     What happened in Waco? Well, the reports are coming in now. Of course, everyone has a spin, but some consistencies are emerging. Apparently SOME bikers had guns. (This is my surprised face.) The cops had guns too. (Another surprised face.) SOMEone got into an argument over a motorcycle. (Imagine that!) Bikers are allergic to bullets and cops are allergic to bikers. See where this is going, folks? 

     One thing that seems to be rock solid is some guy called "Chain" got shot dead between the eyes by a Bandido. That was . . . special. One witness claimed a majority of bikers went immediately spread eagle on the ground whereupon the police began picking them off one by one as the juke box played "Nearer My God To Thee." Scratch and sniff this, folks, tell me what you smell.

     Let's do some numbers. Reportedly up to seventy Cossacks riding, uninvited to Twin Peaks, followed by about one hundred Bandidos. That's a lot of carbon monoxide, folks. There was a little debate about parking. You think? The police were THERE! I'm going to revert to one of my earlier articles. At least one hundred and seventy bikers, different philosophies, meeting in a "breastraunt" drinking beer. Let me think, could this be VOLATILE? After "Chain" bit the dust a melee followed, and we may never know the whole truth of it, but apparently no police got hurt. 

     Turf wars are not uncommon for bikers. They live in a violent world where safe ground is highly prized. While most are law abiding if you believe they all are have I got a bridge for YOU! Still, you can't judge all by the actions of a few. I will agree with Chris X. To have a situation such as the one in Waco explode and having no police is unthinkable. As brutal as it sounds the gunfight was a natural outgrowth of a lifestyle, both biker and police. This is NOT an open carry issue! People have a right to defend themselves, even bikers and yes, policemen. 

     As we weigh the evidence I am drawn back to the liberal rants about the second amendment, and all the Wild, Wild West, and yes, that moldy old OK Corral. Did you know there was a coroner's inquest after that incident? Did you know the Earps and Doc Holliday sat in jail waiting for the results of that inquest? Did you know the Clanton's story was alarmingly similar to what we hear coming out of Waco? Jus Sayin. 

Stupid and Lazy

     Muslims are the stupidest, laziest people in the world. They sit on their little stools in some Quickie Mart, selling cigarettes, and don't make anything but money, and more little Muslims. They pray to some goat god dreamed up by a guy who was as lazy and stupid as they are, and get MAD when anyone pokes fun at them. They love to get together in little groups and charge across the landscape, cutting off heads and defiling women, little boys, goats, chickens, you name it, and if they can blow up an occasional building, why gosh, that's just the icing on the cake. 

     Right now we have the ISIS thing going. ISIS has cut so many heads off they must have King Henry VIII spinning in his grave. The MODERATE Saudis kill a boatload every week, too, but they are our "allies" so we give them a pass. Iran, heck, same thing. They prefer a thing called a "suspension" hanging. That's where you put the rope around some guy's neck, who's crime was having sex with an unprotected goat or something, use a crane to hoist him up, and the crowd spins around shouting, "Allah Akbar," while the condemned twists and turns for the edification of the faithful. 

     There are two books in MonkeyLand. The "Holy" Qu'ran, of course, and another titled, "How To Beat The Devil Out Of Your Wife For Fun And Prophet." Every word the "Prophet" ever said, when he wasn't sweating on top of his five year old "wife," is considered "inspired." Oh, and they have a thousand explanations as to why the "Prophet" had to have sex with the Arabian Shirley Temple.   I suppose, but I try to make my girlfriends a little taller than my KNEES! I kinda know why they do this. It's because by the time a Muslim chick turns eighteen or so, they're so butt-ugly they have to wear a sack cloth to avoid scaring off all the goats. 

     So why do they do all this? Well, to make a long story short, it beats working. To construct a viable government, and economic system like the ones all the was from China to Dallas is alien to Muslims. Their "system" fails every time, and when the world rushes in to sanitize that toilette it's always somebody ELSE'S fault. I give you ISIS! Now, I'm going to be up front with you. It would take the United States Navy about one day to turn ISIS into WASWAS. That's including coffee breaks and chow. So, why don't we do that? We aren't doing that because the world is becoming hip to the fact that of we crush ISIS, next year there'll just be another group pop up and go charging across the desert waving Qu'rans and AK-47s. Why? Go right back to the first line of this article. The Christians claim that they are "of the devil." Nope! The Devil has standards. Even HE waited until little Reagan turned twelve before introducing her to his version of blood on the cross.  They're just lazy and stupid. Swat them camels, swat them camels! 

     Having Muslims in your country is a little like having that unemployed brother in law living in your back bedroom with his crack-head girlfriend. He's "family" so you gotta "love" him, but you sure wish he'd get an overdose some day. The West has GOT to wise up. Britain didn't. They let these roaches in and soon found that there wasn't enough Orkin in the WORLD to get rid of them. For a nation that gave us Scotch and Irish Catholics to put up with that is beyond me! I hope the US doesn't fall to that lunacy next. Hey, I'm getting more professional! I did this whole article about these towel heads and didn't use one bad word. Chrystal Lee will be so proud! 

Stand Up!

     Let's guys be frank. You ladies can be Francine. We Texans look like a bunch of tin foil whackos to most of the country. No, we really do. I think a little perspective is required here. Now I'm going to say some things that some of you won't agree with, but let me ask you a question. Do you really want a free and independent Texas, or are we just gonna just have one big beer party, and sit behind our keyboards and bitch? That having been asked, I'm probably the biggest keyboard bitcher of all, so that's really the pot calling the kettle black. Oh, I've got excuses, grand kids, my legs, money, weather, gasoline, I've got it all, but to be honest I'd have to stand on my mother' shoulders to kiss someone like Micha Cambo's ass, I'll be honest, so don't take my words personally. We've all fallen short of the glory. 

     There is a growing percentage of Texans who would rather NOT have that American flag flying above the Capitol. Not because we don't have reverence for what it stands, oh, my bad, STOOD for, but because we'd just like to get up in the morning with freedom of speech, ALL our wages in our pockets, our self defense in tact, and our daughters and grand daughters NOT being raped by some CPS caseworker. Wouldn't it be loverly? And our opposition is profound. Just last night I put up a picture on Facebook. My group of rowdy friends had a field day with it. It showed CJ Grisham, standing in the  Capitol Rotunda, grinning like a fox in a hen house, and behind and to his left was the most sour-faced school ma'arm I've ever seen in my life! Hey, I crappith thee not, this was one pissed off, ugly bitch, and I'm being conservative here. She was a member of a group called "Mothers For Gun Sense In America." Do you remember Miss Hathaway on the Beverly Hillbillies? Well, she looked like that, but Nancy Culp was an actress. She was PAID to look like that! This woman was all upset because she didn't get to usurp the constitution of the United States. Her organization puts up endless stories on the Internet about some nine year old shooting some five year old with daddy's gun that was left out on the kitchen table, and their answer to the problem is to leave us all defenseless before every criminal who ever smoked a meth pipe. Never mind the kitchen knives, rat poison, medications, and keys left in the car that happens ever year with tragic results, GUNS are the problem. Now, being nieve is forgivable for a woman, but nieve AND ugly I cannot abide. 

     All that having been said, this idiot has one thing on most of us. She showed UP! She, and a contingent of like minded old bats lined up, and gave a long, pre-written monolog to the senators, with a blank left to insert their name, in the hope of stopping the Open Carry legislation that was wearing out horses approaching the floor, and if not for the Herculean efforts of CJ, and others like him we would have lost the right to carry a POCKET KNIFE. I'd have to stand on my mother's shoulders to kiss HIS ass, too, by the way. 

     What CJ has done is invaded the sacred domain of the State House. He threw open the windows and let fresh air blow in, and the mindless, liberal droning was overcome by the rushing winds of liberty. Liberals don't like that. They want men marrying men, women marrying women, dogs marrying cats, and a dead baby in every dumpster. They want Mikey Cyrus twerking with some girly-man right in front of your little girl, but will expel her from school if she says out loud that she doesn't  like President Obama. They want to provide  that same little girl  with a free abortion without your knowledge, and then talking her into a same sex relationship, and forget about God . . . Allah is the one true god, and Obama, I mean Mohammed is his profit, er, prophet! THIS is what we're up against! Well, I don't buy into this crap. MY grandchildren were in a flag drawing contest, came home to eat AMERICAN hot dogs, and watch "American Sniper," last Friday, and cheered every single time a Muslim bit the sand! 

     The liberals only defense is to make us look like a bunch of tin foil wearing right wing nuts. By attacking everything real Americans hold sacred. they construct a norm. Flag waving, Bible believing Americans are ridiculed, while turban wearing pedophiles are held up as pillars of society, Hitler once said that if you are going to tell a lie, tell a big one, and if you repeat it enough it will become "truth!" You want to see those "truths" in action? Well dig this! The constitution is not valid when held up against Sharia Law, and must be supplanted in those cases involving Muslims. Criminals invading our country are really undocumented immigrants, and must be afforded the same rights as citizens. Homosexual relationships are healthy, and churches must bless them no matter what their basic tenants of faith are, and executive orders pre-empt Congress in all matters if the Congress, i.e. the PEOPLE should disagree with the philosophy of the White House, and  you know I'm not making this up! 

     When people start talking about outlandish theories of Reptilians invading the population, supposed military training exercises setting us up for martial law, and the President's wife being a man our credibility goes right down the drain. Then the snipers in Waco open fire and the grim light of reality shines to the glee of the Liberals who are the nemesis of everything holy, everything decent, everything AMERICAN! Well, we won THIS battle, but there are many more to come. The police do not need to be disarmed, they need to be equalized. We can no longer afford a class that is hands above the citizens simply because they are armed and shout louder than the rest of us.  Surprisingly this will not affect good cops. An armed citizenry doesn't bother an honest man at all, it worries bullies! 

     BE active. BE there when "Miss Hathaway shows up. BE there when some CPS worker wrenches a screaming baby from a mothers arms.  BE Texas! Don't be afraid. If you don't believe in secession then stand up for that American flag, but by GOD stand UP for it! My son, Master Chief Wilbur William Witt III has stood up for that flag EIGHT times. Don't be politically correct. Correctness is what WE say it is, not some homosexual comedian out in LA. God is who WE say He is, not some camel jockey who likes to kiss little boys, and America is what WE say it is, not some guy who won his last election simply because his skin was darker than his opponent's! Always remember, there are more of US than there are or THEM. And NSA, now you've tasted my mutton . . . how do you like it, huh?

www.patrioticwarriors.com

#mothersforgunsense

     

     

Ain't No Fun When The Rabbit's Got The Gun

     Yesterday I did an article remembering the day President Kennedy died. Someone asked me why, after fifty plus years, that event was still important? Well, in this installment I'm going to tell you why, and I'm going to expose the conspiracy at work that day. 

     Why is the death of a man so important when most people alive today hadn't even been born the day those shots rang out in Dealy Plaza? Because they got away with it! That's why! A clandestine group of men decided to take matters into their own hands, and fueled by selfish greed, overruled the will of the people, took  the reins of power and changed history for the last fifty years. THAT'S why! And the abomination they put into place, the unholy alliance is still there! 

     In spite of his personal wealth, and social status, John Kennedy was the nemesis of the power brokers. He had slapped everyone from George Wallace to the so-called heads of the five families in New York, and a couple in New Orleans, and he wasn't done yet. One week before his death he signed an executive order dismantling the Federal Reserve. He had sent "advisors" to Vietnam, but he saw the South Vietnamese government for the pimp it really was, and as an old Navy man he was not going to take them to raise. 

     His vice president, Lyndon Johnson, was a lying, conniving old gangster, about to be indicted. Johnson was on the 1960 ticket as a political concession, and the next time, Kennedy was going to have none of that. To Kennedy, Johnson represented all that was repulsive about the Federal government. I'd like to point out to you that the barrel of snakes he detested is still there. It just went from rattlesnakes to water mosscasins, that's all. 

     The military industrial complex needed a war. They hadn't had a good one for about ten years. Now, they didn't need a real war, with fronts, and victory, and all that. They needed an "almost" war against a foe they could easily defeat, but wouldn't because the longer the guns roared the more fake money the Federal Reserve could print, and the more caviar could be eaten on Wall Street. Do the math. The army that had taken down Hitler fifteen years before couldn't  route a bunch of skinny kids in pajamas? Give me a break! And the only man who stood between this New "Order" and all that money was John F. Kennedy!

    Now, this bunch of carpetbaggers didn't know exactly what Johnson would do if he were in the White House, but they knew it would be very different from a Kennedy White House. Point of fact, when he DID get there he quickly struck down that executive order shutting down the Federal Reserve, and turned "advisors" into "adversaries" to the Viet Cong, and the show was ON! And it STAYED on until the war became SO transparent the NWO had to find act II to continue the purge of the American economy. Ask yourself; what is the difference between the IRS taking a part of your income, and Don Fanuchi shaking down a grocer on Mulberry Street? Forget about Democrats and Republicans, these jackasses are all on the same team. There ARE two political parties in the United States; them and US. They rule, and we drool! 

     And all they had to do to build this Tower of Babel was shoot ONE man before lunch on November 22, 1963. Forget all the complicated conspiracy theories you've ever heard, you'll never get to the bottom of it, just know that there WAS a conspiracy, and it worked. People are always looking for a smoking gun and in Dealy Plaza that day there WAS a smoking gun, a REAL one. I am going to show you that gun, and it's not complicated, but you gotta put your Texan hat on to see it. Let's talk about shooting people, shall we? 

     Ever hear of the Zapruder Film? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I've heard all that stuff about how it's been altered, forget about that, just pay attention to the time span between the car coming out from behind the sign, and the final shot. I'm fixing to fire that magic bullet right up the Warren Commission's butt. Now, we've all seen the lines drawn tracing that bullet, as it travels hither and yon, pauses, has lunch, and ends up lying quietly on John Connelly's left thigh, none the worse for wear. The way the "experts" account for all them there holes is something they called "delay reaction." Ok, to the film. Look it up on YouTube, and run it in real time. Ignore whatever narration you hear, they're all crazy, just watch the film and listen to me. 

     As the presidential limousine comes out from behind the sign please note that President Kennedy's hands are already at his throat. This implies that a bullet has struck him at some point BEHIND the sign. It doesn't matter if it came from the Texas School Book Depository, the Grassy Knoll, or Sears and Roebuck, man just got shot! Matter of fact he's losing consciousness demonstrated by his SLOW sinking down, and to his left, as his wife slowly turns and looks into his face to see what's wrong. Count the seconds. Delayed reaction. 

     According to the Warren Commission, while this is all going on, Connelly is riding along with his guts blown out, smiling and holding his Stetson like he has good sense. Did y'all see Freddie Gray bite the dust? He dropped like a rock right THEN! That's what you do when you're shot in the back. About halfway between the limo coming into view, and the head shot Connelly suddenly deflates like a balloon. You can SEE the impact of the bullet right THERE! The events in the back seat, and the jump seat are entirely separate. One man is grabbing his throat, falling, and AFTER that the other man grimaces and goes down. 

     THAT proves at least two shooters. You don't have to have a PHD, or a book deal, or a TV show, all you have to have is a set of eyes! John F. Kennedy's death was the product of a confederation of at least two people, and brothers and sisters, I'll assure you there were many more. So, you ask, what difference does all that make now? These men are all most likely dead of old age. Yes they are, but their legacy lives on. You just saw it in WACO! The mind set of the manipulators that leads them to believe they can get away with anything they want because the American public is too STUPID or too LAZY to do anything about it, and THAT'S why Kennedy's assassination is so important. 

     What can we do about all this? Friends, it's coming down to a fork in the road. If we continue along the path plotted for us in 1963 America is truly lost. If we take the right fork we will have revolution. The straw boss don't like us to throw our cotton sacks down. On either path people are going to die. The tree of liberty is fertilized with the blood of patriots. Hey, they don't mind killing us! They have proved that time and time again. It's so much fun to ridicule Alex Jones, and Doc Greene, and then mow down old men having a political meeting on a Sunday afternoon, but brothers and sisters . . . ain't no fun when the rabbit's got the gun!

#waco #kennedy

www.patrioticwarrior.com

There Once Was A Place Called Camelot . . .

     There once was a place called Camelot. . . 

     In this place all things were possible. There were jobs, and cars, and washing machines, and TV sets that could receive three channels on a clear day. Walt Disney still had Annette under contract, and she was perfect. And there was this man in the White House.

     It took all four Beatles to replace John F. Kennedy. His wife looked like a movie star, and his kids did, too. As a ten year old, I could mimic his Boston accent, and my father's friends would laugh their heads off at parties. "Aye, John Eeeeef Kennedddddy . . . " He'd begin with that line, and go on to put the wood to that fat guy in Russia, or that Mexican who was running Cuba, or anybody else who thought they could stand up to America.

     I had no idea where Boston was, or what a Democrat was, or even what a communist was, but I KNEW, John F. Kennedy was my president. When we ate supper I would imagine him dropping by, I could just see it, because that was the kind of guy he was in my young mind. It was a grand illusion.

     America was slipping into decline, but we were so poor we couldn't tell. Dimes actually looked bigger if you grew up in Texas. The lights never went off in our house, but the bill was only, like, eight dollars or so. I think water might have been free, I don't know. But I knew who the president was, and I knew that when I grew up, everything was going to be alright. 

     There is a fact among people of my generation. We all remember exactly where we were when we heard about the events in Dallas. I had been to,the nurse at Nolan Jr. High, and she sent me back to class. As I rounded the corner by the cafeteria, heading down the west hallway, about three classrooms down, the intercom came on, and America died that day. The grand illusion evaporated like a Penn and Teller magic show. They turned us out, and we all went home. When i got home my parents were acting like Hank Williams just died. I sat at the dinner table that night, and I cried. I still remember. We had liver and onions. 

     Then came Johnson, and Vietnam, Nixon, Charles Manson, the Twin Towers, and Waco! We all struggle to endure the smell of the rotting corpse America had become. The country didn't just suddenly run off the rails. That train had been swerving for a long time, but somehow, President Kennedy made us believe that his hand was on the wheel, and it was all gonna be alright. 

 

      Last night I was up researching the tragic event in Waco this week. I ended by looking at a picture of a dead biker, resting beside his Harley. He looked so serene, lying there in his Sunday jeans, and his magnificent colors still on. And for some reason President Kennedy came to mind. And again, I cried. I cried for the biker, I cried for President Kennedy, and I cried for America. America is lost, but we in the Texas movement are going to find it again, and we're going to give it back to you! We owe President Kennedy that much.

     There are historians, and political analyists who point out his flaws. I know all about Marilyn Monroe, and Joe Kennedy being a bootlegger, I don't care! I still can't erase the image of that hallway at Nolan Jr. High that was burned into my brain on November 22, 1963. As I approached that junction in that hallway that day I was walking in John F. Kennedy's America. By the time the speaker went silent, I was standing  in TEXAS!

 There once was a place called Camelot . . . 

Mexicans Shoot Back

     When you have a major catastrophic event it takes days, sometimes years to sort out the facts. So it will be with Waco.  Sherlock Holmes said that when you take away the impossible, that which remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth. Just like an onion. Let's start peeling, shall we? 

     While there were rumored to have been up to five clubs at Twin Peaks that day, there were two clubs that were significant.  Oh, and by the way, I refer to the bikers as "clubs," not "gangs!" You see, that's how people, or groups become demonized. You throw in a word here and there, and those words create what we call, "mental images," unless, of course you're black, and you're burning down places like Ferguson, or Baltimore, then there are laws protecting you because if Obama had any sons, they'd look like them, but I digress. 

     Now where was I? Oh yes, two clubs. We have the Bandidos, and a cuddly little band of merry men known as the Cossacks. The Bandidos have been around since Jesus was a corporal. The Cossacks were relative new comers to the Texas scene. Now these guys have rules. They abide by these rules. Kinda like a constitution, and they follow it which puts them head and shoulders above Obama right there.  They have territories, and interests attached to those territories.  Mostly, it boils down to this is THEIR state. They don't like people rolling in from places like California, and acting like they belong here, and unlike some folks, they'll stand up and defend that. There are rules of etiquette. You see, there's this thing called a "rocker" that sits below the club emblem on the jacket. That "rocker" signifies the club's place or origin. The rule is very plain. If you're from California, don't put Texas on that Jacket! You think this is silly? Consider this; most Bikers are vets. Patches, medals, and ribbons MEAN things. Men fought and died for those things, and they aren't to be taken lightly. This is opposed to letting a bunch of Muslims have prayer day on the state Capitol while we all sit there and wring our pearly white hands, wishing they'd just go away.

     Honor, loyalty, and respect are important to these men. So, here come the Cossacks rolling into Texas, putting a Texas rocker on their jackets, and flipping the bird at the Bandidos. They really did that, folks. I've seen the pictures. Now they didn't all immediately meet down on Main Street and start exchanging blows. Realizing the volatile nature of the situation they had meetings at places like Twin Peaks to try to find a middle ground. This is where it gets crazy.  Let's start peeling that onion. 

     Let's get all the players in place. You have at least two rival clubs, and the cops, and brothers and sisters we HAD some cops there, serving and protecting. Regular cops, state cops, SWAT cops, and most likely a few Feds, who can't seem to find any problems down on the border where the REAL "gangs" are, but they sure found Waco. Now, I'm gonna tell you from the get go, I don't like Waco, and I don't like Feds! I've been all over Texas and I can count the times I stopped in Waco on one hand. I think the FBI, CIA, and NSA are a complete waste of money we could just buy beer with, and do more good, but that's just me. (Now watch the NSA assign a team to study that last statement trying to figure out what I really meant. See what I mean?) 

     So, hail, hail, the gang's all here. Twin Peaks full of Bikers, and cops behind every bush, and on every roof. Oh yeah, they had snipers out that day serving, and protecting us. Pour a little beer on the fire and voila! You get a fist fight. Most amazing thing I ever saw, bikers drinking beer, and fighting in a bar. Never saw THAT coming. Well, as luck would have it, they spilled out into the parking lot. Now, consider this. All these seasoned Bikers, KNOWING the cops are there, suddenly decide to start shooting. If you believe that, well, have I got a bridge for you. Actually, I do! There's this old bridge right there in Waco that looks like a miniature version of the Golden Gate. Ok, peel that onion. How many Bikers were shot, and how many COPS were shot? Do the math, connect the dots.  

     Before it was all over there were lots of bodies, and I think 172 arrests, all for "organized crime" and not ONE cell phone video to be had. DUDE! Even ISIS has cell phones. Of course, there was some gum shoe saying it was the most violent crime scene he'd seen in all his thirty-four years "serving and protecting" us. Guess he had the day off when Janet Reno decided to torch that church, huh? They sealed off the entire area so they could sanitize it, and the picture we DO have is all these mad dog bikers sitting docile on a bench, arrested. Now THAT'S a BLOOMING onion. 

     Of course the spin got to going,  with the "authorities" claiming the bikers were putting a hit on all law enforcement . . . NO cops were shot that day. Don't you think if the bikers were so vicious toward cops at least ONE of them would have thrown a beer mug, or SOMETHING? We've all seen this before. David Koresh led a band of crazy fanatics bent on overthrowing the government, and marrying little girls. Not ONE conviction in federal court. The bikers came out of Twin Peaks, guns a blazing . . . Not ONE cop got hurt, nor people in ANY of the surrounding shops. Swat them bees. 

     What gets me is if the government can amass such a force against AMERICANS what's the problem with the border? Just string them snipers along that fence and little girls will be able to play jacks in the Texas sand. Oh, my bad . . . Mexicans shoot BACK!

#waco. # twinpeaks

Girl Scout Cookies

     I had a wonderful evening. A friend came over, with Scotch, and we talked for hours, and guess what the topic was. ME! My friend moves in mysterious circles. Anyway, he gave me a story that was so good I just had to tell YOU. Seems the NSA has this thing called a "Theory." There's this room up there in Utah or some place filled with busy little bees with one thing on their minds. My articles! Yep, you got it. And the next time you fill out a check to the IRS just remember, you PAY these clowns! Anyway, they have this chart thing. All the militias they can identify are on it. Kinda looks like a pyrmid, I guess. At the bottom are all the "soldiers'', and it gets narrower and narrower as you get near the top, and at the very tip top is. . . you guessed it. . . WEIRD WILUR!

Seems they imagine that my articles are really coded messges from "headquarters" streaming out to all the patriots in Texas. I use some kind of "code" that they're trying to break, so as to be able to stop the insurection at the source. I crappith thee NOT! Now bear in mind I can't PAY most people to read my nonsense, but these idiots line up to see the next bit of stupidity emenating out of beautiful, downtown Killeen, Texas! I'm so blessed.

     The NSA made a big mistake here, however, never to be one to let grass grow beneath my feet, watch me use this to increase my distribution. Don't tell a songwriter someone is buying! For the record there is nothing dubious about my articles. I always thought I was straight out. I don't think I could call the Americans any more names, but it seems that when I write, "The Nortes are a bunch of homosexual ass clowns," they assign a team to try to figure out what I really mean.

     Ok, attention NSA. I have a suggestion. You need to get into my mind, and here's the way to do it. Get the CIA (another pack of ass clowns) to send over a beautifil twenty year old spy. Have her bring a box of Olivas, and a fifth of Jim Beam. If she's wearing a girl scout uniform and has a box of cookies that'll be a nice touch. Anyway, order her to spend the night with me, and by the morning I think you'll know what Weird Wilbur is all about.

 

Simple Ol' Boy From Austin

www.patrioticwarriors.com

Beer For My Horses

Beer For My Horses


     Have you ever heard that everything's bigger in Texas. I give you Waco. Y'all remember Waco, don't you? David Koresh, Mount Carmel . . . yeah, THAT Waco. What we have here is a dichotomy. Two Yankee, oh, my bad, ISIS terrorists spring out of a car in Garland and get shot right THEN! I know, I know, we shouldn't have had to art contest, should've understood their sentimentalities, Pamela Geller should've worn a burqa, sit your butts DOWN! Those two bozos were the best Islam had to offer. Don't jihad in Texas, boys. Now, on the other end of the spectrum we have Texas bikers.

    Texas bikers are a unique breed.  You've all seen the movies about the Hell's Angels running up and down highway 101, forcing station wagons off the road, and tearing up bars, well yesterday some Texas bikers showed how to TEAR up a bar! Let's look at the dynamics of the situation. I'm the manager of a cafe/bar, and I want to generate a little revenue. What to do? I know! I'll invite five rival biker gangs in for a Sunday afternoon beer party to discuss their differences. THAT'S the ticket! Of course, you'll have to wait for church to let out so all the families can come and see all the Harleys in the parking lot, and get a chance to show the kids! Of course NONE of these guys are going to be packing, cause in a place serving alcohol THAT would be against the law, and God knows they don't want to break the LAW!  Yeah, that sounds like a pretty good idea! Free wings for everybody!

    This has nothing to do with open carry, and everything to do with open carry! Let me ask you a question. If firearms were totally illegal, with stiff penalties for any infraction, do you honestly think them there bikers would have gone to that beer party, filled with rival gangs, unarmed? Well, if you do, have I got a bridge for you, and it's on SALE! Take a little trip down to Mexico where you have EXACTLY that scenario, and trot a few of them Cartel boys through a metal detector. See how that works out for you.

    Nobody wants to shoot their way through lunch, but if you ARE a family guy, in a restaurant having Sunday dinner, and things go crazy, don't you have a right to defend your life, and the life of your family? Ok, let's go back to the OK Corral. What were the Earps, and Doc Holiday doing that day? They were enforcing a city ordinance forbidding the carrying of weapons within the city limits of Tombstone. Uh, did you notice the Clantons were all packing, well all but Ike Clanton. Guess they hadn't read the ordinance.

    You will never free American society of guns by passing more laws! In fact, every gun control law since the 2nd Amendment is unconstitutional! All you do with laws is get honest folk killed! Mothers for gun sense in America, I have some gun sense for you, make guns available to all law abiding citizens who would like to live through LUNCH! I hate to be the one to tell you this, but there's bad peoples out there in this world, and the only thing that keeps them reasonably civilized is GOOD people with guns!

    You will read this Waco story until you are tired of it. MSNBC will have a orgasm for weeks. Fox News will have the leader of the Hell's Angels do an interview in a Brooks Brothers suit, and Obama will sign an executive order forbidding riding a motorcycle in a mall, but all of this is just window dressing. Here's what really happened. SWAT teams, state and local police were there, in advance, as they had been every other time these people had meetings. Police admit that THEY fired their weapons.  Not ONE civilian was killed or harmed (Kinda like the OK corral, huh?) Biker gangs are 90%+ veterans who hate ISIS! They are teamed with Texas militia. Could it be that the Fed found a way to take down down our vanguard?  The song remains the same, whiskey for my men, beer for my horses, and even  a good dog has a right to bite!


Simple Ol' Boy From Austin

A Texan State of Mind

     I got mad the other day. I didn't let it show much, but I was seething. Now, I'm not going to name names so as not to trigger anyone inclined to run to Facebook, but I am going to speak my mind. First off, I hate ignorance! I dislike people who form uninformed opinions. To read my stuff you almost must have a frontal lobe. I'm heavy into hidden meanings and satire. I capitalize of coming across as a backwoods Texan. This is an act, people. It is a character portrayed in order to make a point. I'm sorry to tell you, but Clint Eastwood never shot anybody either. 

     There is a contingent of of elitist people who view themselves as social experts with great international influence because they have an iPad and live in India. I respect all opinions. I find something to like in all people's, but, like Ron White said, you can't fix stupid! You lose your hearing you can but a hearing aid. Eyes go bad you can get contacts, glasses, or LASIK surgery, but when you're stupid, you're stupid forEVER! 

     I'm not an American, I'm a TEXAN! My state was never a territory, it was a republic joined to the United States by treaty. That's why our flag flies on a separate pole at equal height with the American flag. We really ARE different, and if you don't believe that just take a look at those two dead terrorists on that parking lot in Garland. And yes, we baited them, and yes we killed them, and yes, we will kill every member of any religious group that comes down here and tries to disrupt our peace. 

     Texas is a mixture of many factions. We have not one but two national languages. Texas is the only state in the Union that can truly stand on its own. I respect and love England, but to be honest, even Britain cannot stand on its own without import. Texas CAN! We could put a fence around Texas and not miss one glass of beer, or gallon of petrol the next day. All I hear out of "certain" people over in India is how backwards we are. Let me clue you in; if Texas does secede from the DIS United States Obama will just have to suck it up. All this talk about Jade Helm, and "taking over" Texas is so much fertilizer. He needs our money too bad to support all those welfare babies up in the northern regions. 

     "Certain" people said they were former Muslim, raised as a Marxist. Well, I hate to rain on that parade, but your NOT a "former" Muslim. You still have your head on. And Marxist? Give me a break! Even the freaking Chinese don't buy into that nonsense anymore. Ever hear of Putin? HEEEELLLLOOOO! And you call ME ignorant? 

     I am including a link to a previously published article. It was also printed in a Houston newspaper, the Dam Good Times. Yes, that's right, brick and mortar. I do that a lot, and when some ill informed person says my articles aren't even articles I just refer them to the hundreds of thousands of readers who read me every day from so many feeds that I don't even know them all. I don't have to justify myself. I know who I am, and my methods are well thought out and my writings are constructed to do precisely what they do, I never write by accident. Please read and consider this article. 

A Simple Ol' Boy From Austin: America Lost http://simpleoldboy.blogspot.com/2015/02/america-lost.html?spref=tw

#texas 

Massaginist

     It's been a rowdy week down at the ranch. Ok, let's jump right into it. First off. Mr. ISIS, we're sure 'nuff sorry we capped two of your Jihad warriors just because they showed up to kill a bunch of cartoonists who were drawing pictures of that Mexican you call a prophet. Y'all get downright irritated when you show up and don't get to kill a bunch of folks. Now, I understand your religion and all, what with not liking naked girls, or ham and eggs, or any pictures of anyTHING. You want to straighten a bunch of infidels out, might I suggest a Nuevo Laredo whorehouse? You'll find a lot of sin down there. Oh, just ignore them fellers with them dots tattooed over their eyebrows. Don't pay them no mind. Just rush in there, guns a blazing, and see how that works out for you. 

     I actually ended up in one God awful debate somewhere over in India with the cutest little Jap I ever saw.  And y'all know me, I was too busy looking at her profile picture for the first ten minutes, I wasn't paying no mind to a word she said, but then she called me a "misogynist!" Now, being a Texan, I pronounced that "massaginist." With the root word apparently "massage," and her being Asian, I took that to mean she love me long time. Well, our relationship fell quickly apart right after that. I think basically she wanted to put me in a cage somewhere and set fire to me, screaming, "Aloha Salad Bar," or words to that effect. God she was beautiful when she was mad. 

     From there we progressed to Jade Helm 15. Now, I'm just as crazy as the next Texan so I bought right into this. I don't like AMERICANS coming down here, and when I found out it was gonna be UN troops? Americans are bad enough, but FOREIGNERS? Hide the women folk. My grandmother told me that all them people over there are BORN with an STD. They get it from their mamas. The men pee right in the street and their women don't wash properly "down there." I was all pent up, that was until I found out the whole story came out of Alex Jones. Now, I'm not saying Alex was wrong, I'm just saying. If you wanna kill a good conspiracy just let it come out of Prison Planet and right away the public thinks we're all wearing tin foil Stetsons! 

     Of course the cops are shooting EVERYBODY! I almost wish I could have met them two boys up in Garland before they got out of that car. I would have told them, "DUDES! They shoot US for using a cell phone. What did you expect?" To be honest, Texas cops don't shoot near as many as cops in states where the second amendment isn't in place. Wonder if there's a correlation? 

     Open Carry is moving through the legislative process. Hey, certain "people" open carry their UNDERWEAR! Why can't we just carry a pistol. A small cute one. The libs say open carry "intimidates" people. Uh, why do COPS do it? They carry a gun, an electric chair, a knife and a STICK! You can't carry a stick in Texas, did you know that? I was once arrested for possession of a stick. And don't let a kid draw a picture of a gun in school. I wonder what the ISIS boys in Garland would have done if the artists were just been drawing pictures of guns. 

     Now this is satire. I feel I need to give that disclosure. Why do I resort to satire at times. Because when I use a lot of four syllable words and try to speak as an adult . . . Liberals don't listen!  

http://youtu.be/3jS63jrMetI

The AMERICANS Are Coming!

     We need to throw down on what's American and what's NOT! Back when I was in high school I was taught the classical understanding of the hierarchy of government as bequeathed to us by the "Great Emancipator," that being the Fed rules, and the states drool. Now, bear in mind at the time I was listening to the Beatles so this made a lot of sense to me. Big Brother, little brother and kid sister seemed to work out just fine. 

     Tell me something, who elects congressmen? Is there some kind of national election where all the American people vote for a passel of candidates, or is it a local election, a VERY local election, that sends representatives to Washington to speak for the interests of the people who sent them up there? The problem is that when they get there most congressmen become "Americans" and stop being Texans, Californians or New Yorkers. They "rise above" and become omnipotent, eyes ever scanning the future, voting any way they see fit. Then, come election time, they fly back home, kiss a few babies, get re-elected, and whisk right back to Washington to continue the perpetuation of the God awful American government that we, and the rest of the world have grown to love so much. 

     Here's the way the government is supposed to work. Let's say someone comes up with an idea to build a super highway from New York to LA, with eight lanes all the way, and no stops all the way to Santa Monica. The Feds figure that since this highway is going to touch several states that they should foot most of the bill, and have control over the finished roadway. Works for me! Or I'll give you another case. Someone knocks down a couple buildings in New York. All the states get together, go over yonder and whip them fellers. Then, they come HOME. Trouble is the American government has a one size fits all mentality. If the road and the war worked out so good, why shucks, dictating schooling, health, and marriage would be just that much better, and since a lot of people have bought into this reverse level of administration imposed by Ling Kahn they get away with it.  

     Can you imagine the money that would be saved if we just let people run their own business without Senate subcommittee hearings inside the old beltway by people who couldn't cook a brisket if their lives depended on it? Why, we wouldn't even have to have the Capitol open all the time. That would save on electricity right there! We wouldn't even need the IRS, well maybe for someone to sweep that eight lane highway. 

     You wanna know why this is never going to happen? Because there's too much money to be made micro-managing other people's business, that's why. That, and it's so noble worrying about where a spotted owl out in Idaho takes a crap. They spend YOUR money on that folks, I crappith thee NOT! I've never eaten a spotted owl by the way.

     And the Supreme Court, oh don't get me started. They're not even elected, they're appointed by what ever looney tune is having breakfast in the White House at that given time. You could theoretically end up with nine justices from California sitting on the bench.  "In the matter of humans marrying parakeets our decision is, 'Totally!" Not any crazier than ceding thousands of acres to a spotted owl. 

     It will take a long time to pry American hands off a dollar, but it can be done. You just have to sent people to Capitol Hill who'll dance with the ones who brung them. If the Fed is going to run everything, or can trump any laws we pass at the state level why have state legislators at all. We could spend that money on beer, and at least then everyone would be happy.   

#texas #secede #statesrights

Welcome To Texas Partner

     Other states work hard at being states. That's understandable for places that have no national identity. California THINKS it has one, but get real. The California mindset didn't just happen, it's been there for a very long time. And New York? New York feeds on being "American." Now, don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with being American. I mean, if you live in a place too weak to stand on its own you NEED to be a part of a greater whole. What can you grow in New York besides Yankees? 

     Texas is the only place in the American union that can stand on its own. If the American economy were to collapse tomorrow, Texas, and only Texas would be able to get up the day after tomorrow, and go to work! California wouldn't even be able to get a drink of water! So why do the Nortés fight our secession so hard? They fight it because they NEED us! Without that daily dose of money, beef, and product the American dream would disintegrate. The worst part of the fifth ward in Houston is hands above the best part of Detroit. 

     It's fashionable to point at Texans, laugh at our accents, and make jokes about pickups, but Baltimore burned, Dallas did NOT! I had an extended  conversation with a young lady yesterday, and the one thing that stood out was her insinuation that I was confined within Texas. Now she was patently wrong, but on the other hand, if I were, why would I want to go anywhere else? From the beaches of Galveston to the deserts of El Paso, Texas has it all. and the price is right! I sent my son a picture of a sign displaying gasoline prices at a convenience store, and he thought I photoshopped it! Buy a steak in New York! 

     The economy of Texas is through the roof. If you really want to work you'll find it in Texas. Now the welfare system sucks. We designed it that way. We don't NEED a Detroit in Texas! And let's jump on the race thing. People who have never been here imagine Texas lawns filled with burning crosses, and black people being dragged behind pickups all over the state. I submit for your approval a simple true story.  

     I have a friend, "G," who is from LA, a rapper, and black as a cup of coffee.  I mean this guy has it all, the backwards hat, grill, the pants, a virtual poster child for the Cali scene. He was working in Texas, and his father died back in California. First off, we all took up a collection, and got him a plane ticket back home. I had to drive him to Austin, about an hour away, and halfway there he told me he'd missed breakfast, and would like to eat. Well, as chance would have it, we were passing through a little town called Florence. Now, I think Florence has about a thousand people, but I could be wrong because I heard that Billy Joe Jim Bob just got a job in Austin and moved. So, me and G stroll into this little country store/cafe and sit down SURROUNDED by cowboys having coffee, and brothers and sisters, these were REAL cowboys! The cows were in trailers out in the parking lot! 

     G nervously ordered chicken fried steak and eggs, and the little blonde waitress scurried off to cook it. Y'all got that, right? SHE took the order and then cooked it. Anyway, when she came back, and served us the only thing that a race baiter would pick up on was her observance of G's grill? She asked what it was, and He explained to her that it was just a form of jewelry, which he removed to eat. She said, "My grandpaw had some gold teeth, but they was all in the back of his mouth. No argument, no lynching, not one cowboy even stopped drinking his coffee. We told the waitress about G going home to a funeral, and as we left she said, "Hey, sorry about your paw." The cowboys respectfully nodded and touched the brim of their hats as we left. I'm  sure sorry if that doesn't fit with some of your images of Texas.

     When it all goes down Texas will survive. The industry, the work ethic, the downright common SENSE will bring us through. Without that monetary shot in the arm from Texas America will spiral down at an exponential rate. Hopefully, when they miss a few meals, when the welfare is all gone, when the race baiting simply doesn't work anymore, and they run to us, wringing,their hands, screaming, "What do we do?" we'll just tell them, "Do what WE do, and welcome to Texas, Partner!"

#texas

     

Texas Tutorial

     Texans are a peculiar lot. Hey, I'm one of them, and I know! The rules of engagement are complex when dealing with a Texan, but the common denominator is always common SENSE. Texans don't buy into political correctness in any form. Any time you suggest a course of action in order to "look good," Texans will almost always go the exact opposite direction. This perplexes Americans, but it MESSES with people from other countries, and the farther east you get, the more it confuses great minds of ancient cultures. 

     Brits are fairly easy to get along with. They like "cowboys" for the most part, but as you work your way through Europe the opinions become, how would you put it, more "refined." Take India . . . PLEASE! Now I like Indian people. I mean, any culture that could come up with the Karma Sutra can't be all bad, but all it takes is one sour apple to make you consider the barrel. Now, they're industrious, fairly intelligent, and God knows there's a LOT of them! For the most part they don't eat Big Macs, and tend to worship critters, but that's cool, it's their opinion in Texans that they take an off ramp. 

     I met this one particular person. She read a few of my articles, watched a John Wayne movie, and became an expert on Bill the Butcher. She's ranting and raving about how ignorant I was, and I'm just studying her online pictures to see if I can get a look at her legs. Now, I don't mind being hated, it's my stock and trade, but hate me for the right reasons. First off, I'm not a racist, but that card plays so good she just had to play it. I'm white trash from PoDuck, Texas.  Brothers and sisters, that's POOR! I literally grew up on tortillas and beans, NOT from Taco Bell. I was fourteen years old before I saw my first manufactured hamburger at a place called Burger Chef. In high school we could fit five people in the trunk of a Chevy to sneak into a drive in movie because we could only come up with one ticket.

     You take a childhood like that and it kinda puts you on point. I'm direct, simple, no nonsense, and highly suspicious of ANYONE not in Texas. You bring that to a conversation with some kid from Buglety Bugelty, and you get, well, misunderstanding. So I've decided to give a little Texas Tutorial for folks who have never really stopped to consider the art of Texification. 

     Texas is NOT part of the DIS United States! Oh, they think we are, and we let 'em believe that, but just try to collect a judgement in Texas.  For that matter just try to enforce ANYTHING from an out of state judge. I've SEEN it folks, I crappith thee NOT! Gays get all bent out of shape about the validity of their California marriages coming into question, DUDES, Texas doesn't recognize some Arkansas marriages and NO Mexican ones. We aren't trying to secede, we've BEEN gone, just the Yankees can't accept it. 

     We have freedom of religion in Texas. You can be anything you want, Baptist, Southern Baptist, Mormon, or Methodist. Yeah, that just about covers it. We don't get along with Moslems because they're always screaming and waving heads around. Now we don't mind cutting off a few heads, but we prefer it to be in the board room of Dell Computer. We don't mind men in dresses, or riding camels so long as its "over there!" 

     We support the second amendment. If you kill one of us, we will kill you back. Texas passed a law speeding up death penalty sentences. If certain conditions are met you go to the front of the line. In the words of Ron White, "While other states are trying to abolish death row, Texas put in an express lane." We believe in everyone's right to self defense so long as they're a Baptist, Methodist . . .well, you know. John Wayne didn't RIDE no camel! 

     In Texas we have well developed arts.  There is two kinds of music, country AND western. I hear down in Houston they listen to rap. We've never really accepted the Grand Ol' Opry, unless you have Willie there, and he prefers the Austin Opry House to any pretenders. Willie's a little bit liberal, but he's getting on in years so we understand. We like Rock so long as it's Ted Nugent. Stevie Ray was cool, but he made the mistake of getting into a Yankee helicopter. 

     We support the president, George Bush. We haven't accepted that new guy in the White House yet. Watch the race cards start flying, folks. After the war of northern aggression we had a reconstruction governor. When we finally voted him out we had to go to Austin, grab him by the collar, and throw him out of the Governor's mansion, and that's pretty much what we'd like to do up in Washington IF we were involved, which we're NOT! 

     We don't understand European Unions, NATO, or any other things girly men from over there come up with. We view the world on two levels, Texas, and NOT Texas. We don't need Agenda 21 or anything else that has to be translated into fifty different languages. You tell us we can't drive our pick ups downtown, and we'll just run over you on our way to Walmart. 

     We respect our women folk. We particularly like the fact that Texas weather tends to make our ladies wear the least amount possible, up to and including that naked lady sitting on the steps in San Antonio recently because Texas women are the most beautiful in the world. California girls are cute, but you gotta make sure they ARE girls. Anyway, Cali girls are stuck up so they ain't good for much. Surfing, I guess. 

     We have no race problems in Texas. Stock cars abound, and our horses are faster, leaner, and better trained than any other in the world. 

   Our liquor laws are unique. We still have "dry" counties, but they're situated among "wet" counties so as to ease Texas nerves. Oh, we still have "Blue" laws that forbid whiskey on Sunday.  You can buy beer after noon to give the Baptists time to get home from church and change clothes.  If you just HAVE to get a shot you can go to a honky tonk like everybody else. 

     There are many other aspects of Texan behavior, but these should get you stated.  Texas welcomes everyone with one rule: FORGET about where you come from, and don't try to change us. Since Texas is the best place to be in the whole wide world we figure that should be enough. 

#texas #humor #satire

Pamela Geller Pin Ups

     Well, now that we're all past the proper  mourning period for the parking lot two let's look over the  situation. I'm still getting hate mail about Pamela Geller, especially from Indonesia. I was checking out my Google stats yesterday, and discovered that I'm big there, but China? China LOVES me. And I kinda like China, too. I've always been partial to Asian Chicks. I didn't really like Korean girls too much because I grew up in Killeen, and I've smelled their breath, but Gangnam Style changed all that for me. Psy crawling between that dancer's legs singing something about "Georgia" just made it for me. I don't like Russian girls because they all seem to be built like Michelle Obama, not that the First Lady is ugly, or anything like that, some guys dig that Roller Derby look,  I just prefer softer edges. How'd we get off on this? Oh yeah, first thing in the morning, and if you younger girls out there don't understand that, go ask your mama and she'll tell you all about it.

     Where was I? Oh yeah, dead Muzzies, and the coming Apocalypse. While we were promised seventy ISIS soldiers streaming into Texas in holy jihad looking to avenge their  brothers (I personally thought it would be seventy-two, but I digress) apparently they are raising gas money because the only Islamer I've seen is Mohammed down at the Valero who sells me cigarettes, and he doesn't seem all that messed about Garland. I'm sure there will be something SOMEWHERE, but they'd better hurry up because summer is fast approaching, and we won't have time for them once the brisket is smoking. 

     Meanwhile, Sweet Pamela is getting more and more famous. Did you notice how the liberal media got MAD when none of us got killed, and the  terrorists did NOT appear on People Magazine looking like Justin Bieber? Liberals do that you know. They had Trayvon Martin looking like Michael Jackson. They TRIED to Photoshop Michael Brown, but there ain't that much PhotoShop in the world, and all they could manage was to lighten him up a bit.  Meanwhile, Pamela Geller gets younger and younger, and that ticks off the Muzzies 'cause they don't like pretty girls. 

     If Pamela never swats a fly for the rest of her life she  delivered the licking that keeps on sticking to Allah and the boys. And don't tell me they're not hot for her. I'll guarantee you there's some sheik over there somewhere who'd give five hundred camels and a pack of Pall Malls to have Pamela sitting at his feet with a choker collar on. Let me think about that. Sorry, Pamala, too early in the morning. With all the rhetoric, hind sight, politics, and silence from the White House, there's not enough Spic and Span in Texas to scrub those two chalk silhouettes off that pavement up there in Garland. ISIS will NEVER live that down. And the likes of that idiot in London on Sean Hannity, spouting off that stuff about Sharia law in that accent they all seem to have . . . .looook at the asphalt. Hey, been well past three days and they didn't come back to life. Guess that was the last day, huh? Does anyone know where I can get a pin up poster of Pamela Geller? 

#pamelageller #garland

More Nigga than SAND Nigga!

     Our militias are a good start, but we have work to do.  Now bear in mind I know squat about military, but I think it has something to do with guns and guys. If you have more guns and guys than the other guys, you win. Well, right now the other side has more guns and guys than us.  Do the math. There are militias popping up all over Texas, but they are about as organized as a biker bar. I take that back, bikers are usually in an organized gang and therein lies the problem. 

     Consider this; if the Crips and the Bloods were to suddenly join the Texas militia, do you really think the Feds would have showed their butts down in Bryan? I mean, it's all very cool to crash into the VFW and harass a bunch of old men, steal all their stuff, and not even produce a viable search warrant, but what if there had been twenty or thirty New Black Panthers there for security, all lined up with AR-15s and ATTITUDE? They might have rethought that raid . . . You think? 

     We, in Texas have GOT to pull our heads out of Mr. Butt, and see this for what it really is. Except for the Muslims this is THEIR fight, too.  You think we white folk are getting screwed over by the plutocracy? Minorities have been taking a licking for years! That's why they're O R G A N I Z E D! Now this is a two fold attack plan. We have to get politically organized. The Tea Party gets people elected. I hate to say this, but the American ideal still works. It's just that Obama, and the others who feed at his trough have become so used to ignoring that ideal that has put us where we are today. That, and it behooves them to keep this race war cranked up. So long as we are squabbling about Michael Brown we never notice the puppet masters pulling all the strings. Take for instance Eric Holder flying in to Ferguson. He didn't give a flip about Michael Brown. If Michael Brown had walked down the center of the road in Holder's neighborhood the SECRET SERVICE would have capped him, and if you don't believe that, have I got a bridge for YOU! And Hillary? When the four were killed at our embassy she didn't even remove her sleep mask off to take the call. THERE'S your problem, people. Heck . . . Put those thirty New Black Panthers in that embassy, and we'd have been short a LOT of virgins THAT day!

     Two fold solution. Political power, and the men to back it up. Look at the riots. Those people were fighting with rocks, people, and it doesn't matter if they were right, or wrong, the police didn't fire one shot, and it wasn't because they'd all found Sweet Jesus, it was because they knew there was a butt stomping waiting over there. History people, HISTORY! It worked in the French revolution, it worked in Russia in 1917 and it'll work NOW! But, we have to get on board. Fight the real enemy, not each other. In America we can still use the polls. Sure, they're rigged. Out RIG them! Flood the candidates with so many of OUR people that they "Royalty" can't beat them all, and then have the muscle to back UP the 1st, 2nd, and 4th amendments.  

     It's not going to be easy. Those in power have a good game going, but there are more of US than there are of THEM. We need to take this country back. We can go back to hating each other later. You Crips and Bloods out there . . . You think you hate the Crackers? Google ISIS! Get THAT in the ol' Hood! Let Sharia Law take hold. When you see your grandmother get shot in the head for walking to the store alone . . . You'll know what to do. We may have our differences, but you're still  more "nigga" than SAND "Nigga!" Stand  up with us and let's take this country BACK? Remember, Crispus Attucks was the first man killed at the Boston Massacre!

#ISIS #militias