Interesting times these days, but when you boil it all down it’s quite simple, actually, and there’s a sugar cookie here, too. The Middle East is a very big deal these days. The whole world is focused on it. That area is supposed to be the “cradle of civilization.” Ok, boys and girls, if you believe that have I got a bridge for you, and it’s on sale. Back in the day when I was growing up in Simmonsville the one ambition we all had was to make enough whiskey, or steal enough cars to get out of Simmonsville, and we had no plans to go back there. For all you Christians, Muslims, Jews, and assorted other denominations, the Middle East is a sewer. You may swat them bees now.
The big thing is to get a home for the Palestinians. School’s in, ring the bell. Muslims, you have a whole blankity blank desert to live in. Stop worrying about a strip of desert what ain’t got no oil. And the American reasoning is an oxymoron. “The Jews have a right to that land because God gave it to them and they were there four thousand years ago.” Go tell the Comanche. The Americans have forever been getting into other people’s business. They got in our business down here in 1861. You want to see how much they meddle? Just look at a world map with the locations of all the American military bases on it. “Oh, Wilbur, we need that for the security of the nation.” We can’t secure ISIS!
So, Putin jumps in and puts ISIS mostly out of business in about three days. I know, I know, there are those who’ll say it’s all smoke and mirrors, well I’ve been looking at all the reports and there’s a lot more smoke than mirrors. Let me tell you why Obama is so hell bent to get the leader of Syria out. See, there was this pipeline that was gonna run all the way from Mecca to Berlin or someplace. Now that’s all cool, but there was gonna be this valve on it and the Saudis had that valve. Same as it ever was. In one twist of that valve the Saudis (OPEC) could put a strangle hold on Europe. One guy said, “No,” and the whole thing blew up. That guy was the president of Syria. Sounds like we need a little freedom over there, huh. Check it out; we freed Afghanistan, Iraq, Libya, Egypt, and we’re trying to free Iran. Why shucks, why don’t we just free Jordan, the Kurds, and all the rest? How do we do that? Why we fund a bunch of religious nuts and let ‘em run around cutting heads off by the bushel basket, that’s how. And what is ISIS really working on? OIL. That’s right, friend and neighbors, all them fellers with the fire of Allah in their eyes are just a bunch of gangsters selling to the highest bidder. Gosh, ya’ll thought it was God, huh?
Over a year ago I laid out a scenario explaining just how the Republic of Texas was going to come to be. It wasn’t as dramatic as some others, but it had its merits. It went like this; we don’t have to secede. As America self-destructs Texas will become a republic by default. While the world rushes to WWIII, Texas sits on more oil than all the other countries combined except Russia. That, and cattle, cotton, tech, and all the Mexicans. Do the Americans think we’re just gonna close up shop because they screwed the pooch? Texas is the only state that can be a republic. When it all comes down we will be selling gas and computers to every Kraut in Berlin. We’ll ship so much beef to Europe they’ll all have coronary heart disease and Stetson will have to open a plant in Moscow.
My advice to the Americans is just leave it alone. If they want to have WWIII just let ‘em have it. They had WWI and WWII, let ‘em work this one out by themselves. Texas has no intention of fighting someone else’s fight. I personally don’t give a flip about Israel or Palestine or Iran. I’m a racist old bastard, and I like it that way. I care about the hearts and minds of the kids at UT. I care about securing our border, ending people doing ninety-nine years for one joint, and speaking of joints, I get mad when California can grow and sell something that Texas can do better! We will take the lead in this, and Texas will be a republic. Then we’ll give Putin a tank of gas and a brisket sandwich and everything’s gonna be just fine.
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