Grits, Grins, and Hillary's Sins

       

                                        Grits, Grins, and Hillary's Sins

 Let’s just suppose for grits and grins that I went and robbed a bank. Not a big one, just some branch in a supermarket or something, but I took this leather bag, stuck a note under a teller’s nose, and told her I was gonna cause a stink if she didn’t give me all the money in her drawer. So, she gives me the money and I take off. Well, by and by the FBI finds me (seems I left a pubic hair in the restroom just before the robbery) and they give me a call. Now, budget cuts being what they are I get a call and they cut me a deal. I’m told that if I’ll just return the bag that all will be forgiven. I hem and haw, because it IS a very good bag, bought it at Walmart, and they didn’t say there was a search warrant, and what did it matter now? After a few months I think it over and return the bag. When the FBI opens it all there is are five empty beer cans and a half pack of cigarettes. Right away they cry, “Foul!” I say, “You SAID you wanted the bag, you got the bag!”

                Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Hillary Clinton! Oh, God, where do I begin? Is there anything the Clintons can do that they are not called to task for? Now we find she has erased the servers she so diligently hid. Now, I’m just a simple ol’ boy from Austin, but SOMEWHERE on those devices there HAD to be at least ONE email that said SOMETHING about her job as Secretary of State. You think? Of all the messaging there had to be something! Even on my flimsy email there’s stuff I don’t want the PTA to see. But, she’s still running up and down the road acting like Madam President.

                And the Liberals eat it up! The unwashed masses will turn out in droves to put this woman in the White House while the rest of us stand there with our mouths open catching flies. Bill was bad enough, I don’t know what number one daughter’s up to, Lord hope it be a man, but the Clinton’s have had a very good run. And they are hill billy white trash! Poor old Ted Kennedy dumped one trick in the drink and had to take a whole week off, for God’s sake. Nixon told a lie. STOP THE PRESSES! Carter. . . well, Carter was just Carter, but he did lust in his heart once. Hillary had a sexual encounter with Yoko Ono! Give peace a chance. Riiiiiiiight.

                If my records were requested by the IRS, and I threw away a gum wrapper I’d NEVER get out of jail. Thank God I’m not selling cigarettes on a New York street, but Hillary? She could shoot the Dali Lama and his body would be fined for littering. I’m just waiting for the Pope to beatify her. If this moron gets elected learn to speak Russian, you folks on the west coast learn to speak Chinese. So, anyway, the FBI is sitting there with a blank server, and a blank look on their faces, wondering what to do next. Check it for a pubic hair, that’s always a good start.

 

Simple Ol' Boy From Austin

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