Texas is the nigger of the world! We have the best employment, the cleanest cities, bluest skies, best law enforcement, and Willie Nelson, but Americans and indeed the world, make fun of our accents, hats, boots, guns and base their opinions on gay comedians out in Hollywood. They think we are dragging black folk behind pickup trucks that have the mufflers tied on with barbed wire, and throw gays off the University of Texas Tower.
The south (of which Texas is NOT a part of) underwent an apocalypse when the first black child entered a white school. I came from Louisiana in 1962 and the schools were still segregated there. The first day of school quickly showed me that Texas had quietly made the change and none of my classmates even cared.
The stereotype of the Texas oil tycoon faded into history as gas prices shot up past WHISKEY, and the Americans STILL expected Texas to refine the crude just make sure it wasn't OUR crude! They imagine us as being out of control gunslingers completely IGNORING the fact that we were just allowed to kiss the glove and carry our guns where they could be seen. The Americans wouldn't let us carry guns for one hundred and forty years! And they were right because if we ever jump again we will finish the job.
Now we have Black Lives Matter tooling into the state because some chick offed herself over a traffic ticket. I want to remind you again, when you spend the night with a man, and he won't take your call from jail, that does NOT make you Rosa Parks, ok? Swat them bees! I've known some women like that. WhatEVER they did the night before, HE was glad to see her go, and I'd be willing to bet when the story finally comes out THAT was the reason for the suicide.
And let's not forget the Black Panthers. Strutting around carrying an assault rifles like they got something going on. They need to get a life. Go rob a liquor store. What would happen if white people started walking around carrying a shovel and a rope? HATE CRIME!
What I'm trying to say is we Texans can always find a way. We get along! Now, when you get a sewer like the fifth ward down in Houston, mix in a few Yankees, and at least one "activist" (Yeah, I'm talking about you Quanell) you get . . . .DETROIT! Just throw a cat over the fence at a dog pound. Yeah, yeah, yeah, there are poor people down there. Drive along the border fool. 1931 TEXAS, and people are pole vaulting over the fence to get in. When you feed the bears they get lazy. When you take away entitlement you get enterprise! I should be an economics professor.
A lot of fun is poked at our secession movement, and it may never happen, but let me tell you this; Texas is the only state that CAN succeed! If allowed, we could actually set up shop tomorrow, mint coins, eat steak, and sell gas to EVERYONE! What do you get if Wisconsin leaves, beer? Oh, we got that, too! And don't get me started on California. If the US told California, "Feed yourself," their cities would all fire up at once. For all their smoke and mirrors they don't own a glass of iced water.
This movement underway by black militant groups will go nowhere. The "Slingshot Man" may be a bit "profound," but beneath it all is a majority of Texans of all colors who agree on one thing; we don't NEED no help from Americans. We GOT this. My friend, Kent Franks, can walk into any cafe with me in Austin and eat. Why don't you try that in Detroit? And, by the way, we ARE marrying gay people down here. Most of us don't LIKE it, but we generally try to stay out of people's private affairs. We'll yield to you on the freeway, too.
Hot flash to outsiders, we're too big and rich to push around. We're also Redneck (even if that neck is black) and a little bit crazy. We've shown consistently that we will back up in a church and shoot at you, and we can't count to 5,000. As you try to divide us we'll just huddle together because we know that Texas, at it's worse, is better than what the Yankees have to offer. Texas has it all, heck y'all, we even have Ebola!
The south (of which Texas is NOT a part of) underwent an apocalypse when the first black child entered a white school. I came from Louisiana in 1962 and the schools were still segregated there. The first day of school quickly showed me that Texas had quietly made the change and none of my classmates even cared.
The stereotype of the Texas oil tycoon faded into history as gas prices shot up past WHISKEY, and the Americans STILL expected Texas to refine the crude just make sure it wasn't OUR crude! They imagine us as being out of control gunslingers completely IGNORING the fact that we were just allowed to kiss the glove and carry our guns where they could be seen. The Americans wouldn't let us carry guns for one hundred and forty years! And they were right because if we ever jump again we will finish the job.
Now we have Black Lives Matter tooling into the state because some chick offed herself over a traffic ticket. I want to remind you again, when you spend the night with a man, and he won't take your call from jail, that does NOT make you Rosa Parks, ok? Swat them bees! I've known some women like that. WhatEVER they did the night before, HE was glad to see her go, and I'd be willing to bet when the story finally comes out THAT was the reason for the suicide.
And let's not forget the Black Panthers. Strutting around carrying an assault rifles like they got something going on. They need to get a life. Go rob a liquor store. What would happen if white people started walking around carrying a shovel and a rope? HATE CRIME!
What I'm trying to say is we Texans can always find a way. We get along! Now, when you get a sewer like the fifth ward down in Houston, mix in a few Yankees, and at least one "activist" (Yeah, I'm talking about you Quanell) you get . . . .DETROIT! Just throw a cat over the fence at a dog pound. Yeah, yeah, yeah, there are poor people down there. Drive along the border fool. 1931 TEXAS, and people are pole vaulting over the fence to get in. When you feed the bears they get lazy. When you take away entitlement you get enterprise! I should be an economics professor.
A lot of fun is poked at our secession movement, and it may never happen, but let me tell you this; Texas is the only state that CAN succeed! If allowed, we could actually set up shop tomorrow, mint coins, eat steak, and sell gas to EVERYONE! What do you get if Wisconsin leaves, beer? Oh, we got that, too! And don't get me started on California. If the US told California, "Feed yourself," their cities would all fire up at once. For all their smoke and mirrors they don't own a glass of iced water.
This movement underway by black militant groups will go nowhere. The "Slingshot Man" may be a bit "profound," but beneath it all is a majority of Texans of all colors who agree on one thing; we don't NEED no help from Americans. We GOT this. My friend, Kent Franks, can walk into any cafe with me in Austin and eat. Why don't you try that in Detroit? And, by the way, we ARE marrying gay people down here. Most of us don't LIKE it, but we generally try to stay out of people's private affairs. We'll yield to you on the freeway, too.
Hot flash to outsiders, we're too big and rich to push around. We're also Redneck (even if that neck is black) and a little bit crazy. We've shown consistently that we will back up in a church and shoot at you, and we can't count to 5,000. As you try to divide us we'll just huddle together because we know that Texas, at it's worse, is better than what the Yankees have to offer. Texas has it all, heck y'all, we even have Ebola!
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