Your Wife Is So Ugly . . .

I’m amazed at the dignity this election cycle has brought out. We began with “hand sizes,’ and now we’ve progressed all the way to ugly wives and battle boots. “Your wife is so ugly. . . “I took off after Ted Cruz’s wife the other day, which was stupid, I may meet this guy someday, I mean we’re both from Texas, and there he’ll be. God! He may even be president. Will that make me a liberal? Never let it be said that I’m not an equal opportunity offender, I slobbered over Trump’s wife’s butt, too. He’s got a drop dead gorgeous daughter, also.

I think it’s interesting to note that whomever ran that picture of Mrs. Trump’s butt, all Don did was run a picture of Cruz’s wife’s face and Ted went off like a bazooka. The refreshing thing was that we got off of walls on the borders, and got on arguments about wives. Let’s do some demographics. Ted is a Texan. Yeah, yeah, yeah, he was born in Canada, dad was a Cuban, dispense with that. Ted’s not from Texas, but he got there as fast as he could, and he thinks like a Texan. Mr. Trump, on the other hand, thinks like a Yankee. And he’s a New York Yankee, which is about as Yankee as you can get.

So, we’ll get to watch the Twitter war most likely for the remainder of the campaign, at which time the Republicans will broker the convention and Hillary will get elected. Ya’ll didn’t see that coming, huh? That’s because you still don’t know who your handlers are. These guys love this nonsense. The more Trump and Cruz hack at each other, the more they like it. Sitting in the wings is that other guy running, and he’s exactly the kind of loser the Republican establishment wants to pit against Hillary to assure the results, and continue the status quo. Ever hear of Mitt Romney? Wait a minute! Didn’t Romney just activate a bank account and throw his hat into the ring? Smoke and mirrors. All bokem and bosh.

Actually, Donald Trump is the only person who can take Hillary on head on. He’s rich, he plays dirty, and he has staff! Hillary has more luggage than Brittney Spears at a pot party, and she knows it. Combine with that that she’s still married to Bill, and frankly, she makes Bill look good! Hey, like my friend, Juan says, “I ain’t even gonna lie to chew,” I thought that pizza with Monica in the Oval Office was cooler than dry ice, myself, but I’m just a Simple Ol’ Boy From Austin, so what do I know?

What will be interesting is watching what the powers that be do at the convention when Trump shows up with all the votes needed to just walk away with the nomination. That’s gonna be a sticky one. That’s going to expose the system for what it is, and make Alex Jones look like a prophet. Hey, I’ve been in Utah for a couple of weeks, and I’m thinking about prophets a lot, bear with me, ok?

Meanwhile, ISIS is blowing Europe of the map, there are more Mexicans on the border than ever, Finicum is still dead, there are so many abortions each day that you’d think Planned Parenthood should put up one of those signs like McDonald’s used to have saying, “Billions Served,” and Hillary has just had a photo op with Bruce Gender. Myself, I’m on the elusive pursuit of a good cup of coffee in the land of Bibles, Books of Mormon, and girls who look like Marie Osmond. A man has to keep perspective.