Smoke Belching Ass Guns

     I've finally come to a center line on what Barak Obama is doing to the American public! In an article from "Today I Found Out" I learned that there was a medical procedure used in the 1700's, now work with me on this, and save your fork, for certain maladies, and even a test for death. Seems there was this bellows. The doctors had theorized that most times a confusion of the mind, constipation, consumption, and many sorts of illnesses resulted from the body being in need of being dried out. We would call it fluid retention, and as you know this IS a problem that a lot of people take prescriptions for even today. Well, noble ancestors had a quick fix. You see, they lit a cigar, filled the bellows with smoke, and inserted it, you guessed it, right up the old kazoo! I crapith thee NOT! Then, with a quick contraction of the bellows, the colon would fill with a King Edward ( or what ever they had back then) and the skies would clear, the angels would sing, and the patient would be up and running yet again! Uh, it worked particularly well for constipation. 

     Then it dawned on me. Somehow Obama got hold of this technique and using his power as President, he found a way to administer this en masse! It works like this, and if you're stupid enough to buy into alien abduction this should be a breeze. The CIA has these laser powered smoke guns. Any time Obama gives a speech the Secret Service has some guys looking like they're watching the President. Now, the smoke guns shoot this imperceptible smoke ring up to fifty feet. It can penetrate clothing, and find its way to the anal cavity where it does it's work on sedating the reasoning portion of the brain. It works particularly well on gay men. After enough time a great number of people have had enough smoke blown up their asses to actually effect an election. Obama's been blowing smoke up our asses for YEARS!  This also may account for the rise in colon cancer. 

     This is the only explanation for the acceptance of the American public of Fast and Furious, Benghazi, Obamacare and Obama losing those two sones that he said looked just like him! How can we fight this? Well, those who believe they have been so violated can go to their local pharmacy and purchase any number of stop smoking gums, pills, or whatever, and whenever Obama is in the area, before attending the event, just insert it into the proper orifice. This should alert the body and minimize the effects of the smoke belching ass-gun. This will not work for people in Ferguson because they've had so much smoke blown up their asses that the whole town caught fire! 

     You must always be aware that seemingly ancient technology can be adapted for a modern use. I'm going to be on the lookout for other methods used to dupe the American public. Until then, if you find yourself making sense out of anything Obama says just have someone sniff your butt. If it smells like a Corona . . . there you are!