Gay Bakeries

     I was going to write a nice article about overthrowing the government today, but Indiana stepped in and changed all that. Now, before I start, I have not read the Indiana law, but I understand it has something to do with gays eating cake. With other things they stick in their mouths I can't see cake being a problem. I wish I could translate my bedroom antics into civil rights. I'd be rich! Like I've said time and time again, if you want to dig dirt on me you'd better bring a dump truck 'cause I've done it all. If there was something I missed it was only because no one told me, and if they had, well, I'd have don't that too, but this gay thing  is something I did miss. When I was young, sitting around the campfire, drinking beer, and trying to get the attention to the ONE girl stupid enough to be there, I can't remember one time hearing,"What do you wanna do tonight, Billy Joe Jim Bob?" and hearing, "Why don't we bump each other in the butt!" 

     My problem is I'm amTexan. While I was growing up every town had "Town Fairy." No one cared how he became Town Fairy. Nobody got all messed up about the way he talked, walked, or wore a cape around town. To be frank we had more on our minds besides that, like dragging people behind pickup trucks for being the wrong color. We did have a law on the books making it a crime to check into a motel with a live chicken for sexual purposes. I hope we've repealed that law and NOT because I lust after chickens. 

     Did you ever ask yourself just why, when the gays raise a concern, it gets so much press? Because it's so dog gone FUNNY. They won't lead us into WWIII, they won't destroy the borders, and they DAMN sure won't steal your girl friend, but watching them go off is a little like teasing a Chihuahua. Lots of fun and you won't get bit THAT bad. When the Muslims march down the street people get mad. When the New Black Panthers march people get mad (and scared!) When the gays march . . . People wipe tears out of their eyes laughing! Gays are the only group you can safely say, "Well, I don't have anything against them, but I wouldn't want one of them to marry my sister." Unless it's like, a lesbian thing, but that's a whole 'nother lick right there. 

     I don't hate gays. Only crazy people hate folks they never meet. Someone once asked me if I found gay sex disgusting, and I told them that I found ALL sex disgusting unless I'm doing the sexing. I'm old school and just believe "private life" means just that. All but Velma Prigmore back in high school, but I digress. Anyway,  Indiana has rocked the gay world with a donut. Now, I know, I know, the entire state of California will leap on me like a savage rabbit, but they won't be getting a cherry because I've been there before. Hey, got a solution. GAY BAKERIES! Wedding cakes designed especially for them. An Angel Food cake in the shape of a penis. Chocolate cake with white icing for inter-racial weddings. I should be nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize!