I’ve been meaning to get into Jesse Ventura’s butt for a while, but had to read up on him, and let Clint Eastwood’s movie make a little more money before I lit the fuze on this one. Eric Bolling made a comment yesterday about Ventura, calling him a “washed up wrestler,” which is pretty much what he is. Every once in a while someone comes along who inspires us. They do something so outstanding that it supersedes everything for a short time, and we can admire them, feeling a bit better, a bit taller, a bit more substantive. Chris Kyle was such a man. In an endless, seemingly pointless war one man stood out. One man with a rifle. The war for him boiled down between him, and them, and Chris took one hundred and sixty of them out!
You know, back in Nashville you quickly learn that in a room full of songwriters you had one songwriter and fifty wannabes. Goes with the territory. Any time you pen a hit you’ll have people jump up and either say they helped you write the song, or they were in the room when you did it, and somehow, some way they inspired you. Jesse Ventura ain’t no songwriter folks.
Let’s start with reputations and liars. Now I know Ventura’s gonna sue me, but I need the book sales, ok? Anybody out there believe professional wrestling is for real. If you do have I got a bridge for you, and it’s on sale! Professional wrestling is about as real as my first four marriages, and brothers and sisters those were a cluster. . . well, you know. Anyway, Ventura’s claim to fame began with the wrestling ring. From there he moved on, somehow, to being a Governor, God knows how, and then he went into television, where he looked for dragons under every rock. From Aliens flying saucers into the World Trade Center to murder attempts on “witnesses” he’d found the JFK assassination, no subject was taboo, no theory too wild. Hey, I’ll admit, I watched him, but I’ve watched “Josey Wales” fifty-seven times so go figure. I’ve already told you that I’m not a movie critic.
Well, it seems that in San Diego Ventura and Chris got into an altercation where it is alleged that Jesse got punched in the mouth. (Hey, Jesse, that would have been a real punch, not one of those choreographed performances on WWF, ok?) Well, Ventura claimed it never happened, stained his reputation, and sued Chris Kyle, collecting somewhere around two mill from Chris Kyle’s widow. Now, I promised to try to clean up my language, but ya’ll know that stuff that drips out of a chicken’s butt, kinda whitish? Well, that’s what suing a man’s widow is. Jus sayin! That is the most yankeefied, low life, hateful thing I can imagine.
Ol’ Jesse didn’t stop there. He launched on a smear campaign calling the late American Sniper a liar on every front. From challenging the bar incident in San Diego down to any side remark Chris ever made, Ventura made a career of smearing feces on Kyle’s tombstone. Only one teeny weeny little problem. Chris Kyle was a real American hero! Americans liked seeing Arab heads go a flying after 9/11. They didn’t care if Mr. Kyle spun a yarn, heck, do did Davy Crockett, so do I. If there’s a book sale in it I’ll shoot you a story in a heartbeat.
Fact is, all heroes are human. Sgt York, was human, as was Audie Murphy. Ira Hayes, anybody remember him, He had an alcohol problem, as did Winston Churchill, who would drink so many Martinis that he had to hug the wall on the way to bed. If you look into anyone’s closet you’ll find skeletons dancing the cotton eyed Joe! All that matters is for a brief moment in time a man stood up and made us proud by his service. While Ventura can’t prove he was ever a Seal, There is no doubt about those one hundred and sixty shots that Chris Kyle took. They are all documented.
You’d think that for all of Jesse Ventura’s bluster about being a red, white and blue American, he and Chris Kyle would have been running buddies. You wanna know why this never happened? It never happened because Chris Kyle was the real deal, and Jesse Ventura was one of those guys hanging around the room claiming he wrote everybody else’s song, that’s why! There is a liar in this story, and I’ll give you two guesses as to who it is. My advise to Jesse Ventura; please don’t pop off at Clint Eastwood in a bar. Then you’ll have to sue his widow, too!
Simple Ol' Boy From Austin
No comments:
Post a Comment