Well, I’m out of Facebook Jail. I did a lot of reflection during my time in solitary. Actually, I had a lot of time to do things OTHER than “liking” this or that, or poking people all day long. I actually researched Mormon history and made contact with someone who has a very informative series on the History Channel. It’s always nice to let the fresh air in. Like I told you yesterday I had already been looking at statistics concerning Facebook, and was already considering a change of direction before I was shut down for the twenty-four hours. I weighed a variety of options during this time.
I read the Facebook Terms and Conditions very carefully, with all the restrictions placed upon one upon deciding to use this medium. Some were obvious. You can’t threaten or stalk anyone. You can’t do that in real life either, so that’s a no brainer. That having been said the rules moved onto subjects you could not openly discuss. These rules read like a “HUD 1” presented during a Real Estate transaction, of which I’m very familiar with. No race, creed, religion, sexual orientation, or disability. For your average Facebook devotee this is all very fine. As long as you are putting pictures of your lunch up you will never cross the line into Facebook Nirvana. However, if you are a social commentator, or political activist, such as myself, you can quickly ascertain that such restrictions make Facebook virtually worthless as a viable medium of communication.
The twists and turns of the human condition are the life’s blood of controversial articles, which are my stock and trade. If I only write about what I had for lunch no one would ever read anything I put out. It’s as simple as that. If he couldn’t have poked fun at religion or politics George Carlin would have remained a DJ in Shreveport, Louisiana. Success in literature is not measured by money or acceptance, but how many people will read what you write. Some, indeed will not even agree with you, but they will read what you put out. I check out Michael Moore on a daily basis. I do this because he’s controversial. If we all sang the same note there would be no harmony.
Then there’s the problem of penetration. God, I hope that’s not a forbidden word. I will put this article up on many sites. I may be published in newspapers. I may read it on the radio, and because of all of this thousands upon thousands of people will hear or read this piece, unless it appears only on Facebook. There, it will get, um, about ten reads, if you count all the pages and groups it will appear on. If I cut a record and sold ten copies I’d fire the distributer. Sorry Facebook, welcome to the real world.
I respect the right of Facebook to run their shop they way they see fit. Still, I must weigh the effectiveness of their business model as compared to other methods of production, and in my case they come up sadly lacking. So, here’s my solution. First off I’m not going to stop writing what I write. That would make me a hypocrite. I write off the top of my head, and articulate what I believe in the simplest terms possible. That’s my style. When someone does something I construe to be stupid I’ll say, “Dude! That’s like. . . . STUPID!” And if that’s concerning religion, or politics, or sexual orientation so be it. If you don’t want Bill the Butcher to write about you don’t be stupid. However, Facebook wants a homogenized landscape. The solution is simple.
I have so many groups and outlets on the site that I will continue to post articles that are mundane enough to pass thorough the censorship and remain. The good stuff will be on other sites that are not so, how should I put it, homogenized. Reading one of my articles on Facebook will be a little like buying an AC/DC album at Walmart. Nice for the kiddies, no real content. Of course I will continue to feed and support www.ragingelephantsradio.com. The ChatKats (and Kittens) are intelligent enough to know the real stuff is at the numerous other sites that I appear on, and you can hear me on a regular basis on BlogTalk Radio. Before you think I’ve “copped out,” let me remind you that I am a writer! When I struck an agreement with Crystal Lee Laramore, part of that agreement was to conform my articles to her format. She has cultured a readership that expects a certain style of writing. I can do that, and I can most certainly fly under the radar of some kid out in California who got lucky and made a fortune off some site he and a friend dreamed up in college. That’s what I DO!
Very quickly people will come to understand the “trailers” are on Facebook, but the real show is everywhere else, and I’m cool with that. You want to know what I really think? Buy my book! With titles such as, “Simple Ol’ Boy From Austin,” and “I Crappith Thee NOT!” you can very easily see I’m not comparing brisket recopies. There are people and groups of people who would love it if I were to capitulate and just go away. Well, I’m smarter than that. With my abilities in writing I will dance circles around “Terms and Conditions” as easily as Psy danced around that guy in the yellow suit in the video, “Gingham Style.”
What Facebook doesn’t realize is, for all its success, while we don’t want cussing, threatening rants, social commentary, and REAL discussions would be very welcome. They want a “One size fits all” format. Well, boys and girls, I never eat at Subway. I prefer Thundercloud. Most of you have never heard of that place. That’s because it’s a local sandwich shop in Austin. Very independent, very good sandwich. If they ever go “corporate” I’ll just find another place that suits my preferences.
I was sitting very nicely on a porch with a martini when Doc Greene jerked me out of retirement and put me on the path I’m on now. I’m not turning back. If certain factions don’t want me skewering them then stop being stupid. I feed on stupid. That’s why I’m a “Simple Ol’ Boy From Austin.” When you strip away all the political correctness, and all the mamby-pamby what you have left is SIMPLE! If it walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, time to have roast duck! I do understand Facebook not wanting to be reduced to the level of the late great MySpace. (Is that even out there any more?) I do like the size of the site, but the fact is, for me, it’s only good for signs directing thinking people to places where they can see what I really think.
Facebook cannot ban me for BEING controversial. They can only ban me for WRITING controversial on THEIR site. I’ll be a good boy. I’ll sip in the Facebook tea house, but I will lead my readers to the BAR across the street, and I’m buying! L’audace, L’audace, Toujures L’audace!
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