Poopy Man

Well, we got to watch the face off between the wicked witch of the east and poopy man last night. I watched  the debate on CNN,, and made the mistake of continuing to listen to the commentary afterwards. The debate was wild, but the gymnastics of the reporters after was incredible. Ok, I get it, Trump said a dirty word. With women being a “yuge” voting block this may be the joker in the deck that gives Hillary a straight flush. CNN isn't going to let this go.

I've seen in the past the way CNN slants, insinuates, and enters into the debate itself, cloaked as moderating. They do this when they have no basis. I have to admit this “locker room” thing does have some meat, and CNN is going to  sauté it with garlic and onions. Let's get down to the bottom line.

American politics stinks. Last night revealed that we have hit a new low. Clinton HAS took a hammer to her server. She DID roll over and go back to sleep as Benghazi fell. She DID cover for Bill’s exploits in the White House, and she DIDN’T divorce him. Trump DID make jokes about grabbing women “down there” against their will. Now, I'm going to be candid with you, and you may be surprised. Because of the songs I've recorded, I have a terrible reputation among people who've never met me. I'm sixty-five years old and I have never grabbed a woman like that. My mother told me if I ever showed disrespect to a lady she’d beat me with an iron skillet. Mom’s gone, but I still have the skillet.  When someone makes a statement that if you have enough money you can do whatever you want to women it should give you pause.

Words mean things. When you hear someone orally fantasize about such things you must ask yourself where the base line is? Was it pure fantasy or was there a little wishful thinking, or even an action somewhere in the past? The final result is we now have a campaign between two people that really nobody wants. Democrats cannot get past those emails, and republicans can't get out of that bus! It almost makes a third term for Obama enticing.

I don't think this crisis is going to be easy on Donald. He's a fighter. He will fight until the end. Hillary already has a TV ad up using clips from last night. His campaign was slipping since the first debate. I noticed the poll numbers turn around. From the moment Trump announced his run he has clawed his way up the ladder. Always up. When he won the nomination it lent legitimacy to his candidacy. Last week’s downturn marked the first time the Trump Train seemed to be running out of steam. The release of the private tape came at exactly the right time to emphasize this, and the herd of republican congressmen running for the door only served to emphasize the enormity of the effect on the republican lunge for the White House.

The campaign is reduced to a mud fight. Trump slings, Clinton tries to be coy, and slings back. It's similar to a scene from the remake of the movie, “Vacation” where the family finds itself swimming in a sewer thinking it’s the hot springs. As the mud slinging continues it'll come down to which candidate doesn't stink as bad. . There is much speculation about who will win, and who will lose, but I'm reminded of an old Paul Simon tune.

Going to the candidates’ debate
Laugh about it, talk about it
When it's time to choose
Every way you look at it, you lose

Donald Trump Likes Women

News flash! Donald Trump likes women! In a world with things like Bruce Gender, isn't that refreshing? He thinks his daughter is the most beautiful girl in the world. Attracted to his wife, too. When he's around a bunch of guys he talks like a guy. Gosh, I haven't found anything I don't like about him yet.

The political correctness movement has put America into a state that makes people believe that is is an obligation not to offend anyone in even the slightest way. That is an impossible task. In a world filled with conflicting opinions you will always offend someone, or you, yourself will be offended. You cannot avoid it.

The people who inflict this model on the rest of us themselves think nothing about stating the absurd, such as hailing a transvestite as an American hero, while making it the lead story on CNN that Trump behaves like a man in private. This is not newsworthy, people. I listened to the tape. I didn't hear a thing that I haven't heard in private conversations among politicians, law enforcement, even clergy. I, myself tool a little lewd jab in my last article. I'm sure SOMEone was offended. I'm sorry. I like to touch women. Women like to be touched . . . politely.

With Yoko Ono ADMITTING she had a date with Hillary, and CNN can't find anything on Donald Trump except he thinks his daughter is cute and he's attracted to women? Bill Clinton had so many girlfriends you'd have thought Hillary wasn't the First Lady, she was a madam! The democrats hope this is the end of the Trump Train, but they're wrong. Anyone with common sense will know this isn't that big of a deal.

Trump apologized for his private words. Why'd he even bother? This article is difficult to write because the subject is such a nothing story. When I first heard it I supposed Trump must have let loose a string of obscene words and suggestions, but when I finally got around to actually listening to the conversation it was mundane. Fact is, Donald Trump has never forcibly raped anyone to my knowledge. Didn't we have a president who was a master at that? What was his name? I think his wife is running for president now.

We’ll have to wait and see how this affects the debate. There is one positive thing that came out of this. All the politicians who turned on the republican nominee have shown a spineless nature. The prospect of Hillary in the White House is far worse than a little locker room chatter eleven years ago. The republicans falling back seemed to have forgotten all about that. The state of the nation means nothing to them. Donald Trump said a dirty word. These people didn't change, folks. They are who they've always been, and our government, and nation means nothing to them. And they run the country! These are the people who let thousands of Syrians into the country, while poking fun at Trump’s wall. Hillary covered for her husband’s sexual behavior for years while considering half  the country as “deplorable.”

Take a good, long look at this desperate attempt to shore up Hillary. Only time will tell if this is a deal killer. The spin doctors will crank it up. How Trump handles it will prove his ability. He can't just quit. The bad thing is that he may come out trying to sling more mud than Hillary, and that's no good. How will that solve our problems? I just read an article on The Slate (www.slate.com) that was titled “Never Forget That Donald Trump Could Have Been the President of the United States.” The writer said that the Trump candidacy had exposed the ugly side of America that had been hidden for years. He condemned half of us. The truth is the country is sick of Bruce Gender, the president bowing to Arab kings, and other nations taking our business, jobs and pride. We just didn't think we could do anything about it until now, but, Donald Trump likes women.

God I Miss Granny Clampett

God I miss Granny Clampett! She was the old lady on the Beverly Hillbillies was famous for cooking up concoctions out by the “cement pond.” Everything from “possum” to “shine” came rolling out. Back then it was funny because everyone just knew nobody really did that. All but the folks in Louisiana where I was born, who were eagerly hoping to pick up a few tips from Granny.. Back in the day food bought in a store or café was pretty much the same as anywhere else. The green beans weren't all that green, the corn, well, it was purt near white! See, what they did was cook the food up and then just can it as is, just like folks did at home, only the can was prettier, and it was supposed that the food companies had a tad more on the ball than Granny sheerly from volume. Volume. Write that down.

There are several factors to be considered when producing food for the masses. When Ora Jean took her honey to the store in Ding Dong, Texas she gave it to the owner, who put it on the shelf, and most likely when Ora Jean came back next week to pick up her money all the honey would be gone. She dropped off five more jars and went shopping. That little store in Ding Dong would probably fit quite well in the rest room of HEB, the Goliath supermarket a lot of Texans depend on for their daily bread. HEB runs the home spun ads showing some guy growing green beans, a few family around him, and of course, the obligatory daughter. Always ends with, “This is such and such department at HEB.” A shack, two tractors, and a girl in faded jeans. If you buy that have I got a bridge for you, and it's on isle five!

Now I'm just picking on HEB because I can see one from here. Walmart is just as bad. They'd sell you rat tails for toothpicks if they thought they could get away with it. Both corporate enterprises contend with the same problem. Ora Jean died a long time ago, and the bees all flew off.. Enter Chinese businessman, Won Hung Lo. Won has a LOT of honey. Well, mostly honey, and therein is the problem. He's not dropping off five jars of honey, he's dropping off five OIL TANKERS full. Won, HEB, and Wally World all have to do the math. How much honey should they put on the shelves, how long can they afford it to sit there, and last, but not least, how can they make the honey for NOTHING and sell it for SOMETHING?

Shelf life is very important. If you can find a way to keep something fresh then you extend shelf life. You could probably buy a Big Mac today, and Jesus can eat it when He returns. Driving down costs is important, too. Why have one hundred percent honey when a mixture of honey and vegetable oil will taste pretty much the same. And one hundred percent pure beef. Sure. Flank, skirt, loin, eyeballs, tongue, private parts and noses. Hey! It's one hundred percent pure beef, right? All coming from the Billy Joe Jim Bob beef department at HEB. Won is Billy Joe on steroids.

If you read ingredients you will be overwhelmed. I have a simple rule. If I can't pronounce it, or it has more than two syllables I don't eat it. Added water? That's cool. That's just the butcher sneaking his thumb on the scale. Salt, i.e. Sodium, well, it's kinda natural, but next time you're in the store check out the amounts in a pound of “one hundred percent” ground beef compared to the pre-pressed patties you buy because you're too lazy to mash up your own. Then we progress all the way up to MonoTookItOutOfMyButtAndStuckItInYourMouth preservatives “to maintain freshness.” Wanna know how much of this stuff is out there? An undertaker friend of mine once told me when he entered the profession there were times where a funeral was delayed, and he worked hard to keep mama fresh. Now, due to additives and preservatives, a lot of bodies arrive pre-pickled. I Crappith Thee NOT!

Another thing is boxed food. Don't even read the label. Just eat the box. It's better for you. You know according to the FDA, Legos are fit for human consumption. Stop laughing. How do those chicken nuggets taste? Boxed food lasts a LONG time, and I mean a LOOOOONG time. Ever notice how the roaches always seem to linger on the box and not the macaroni inside? Jus Sayin. I think the boxed food craze began with all the “helper” things. Hamburger Helper, Tuna Helper, and a favorite in Arkansas, POSSUM HELPER! Read the ingredients. If you can't scrounge up some meat, a little garlic, macaroni, tomato sauce, and some cheese, you deserve that bathroom break in the morning. There's nothing magic in that box, except it may make it easier for my buddy the undertaker.

Save your fork, here comes the good part. FAST FOOD! There is no such thing as fast food. SOMEbody has to knock that cow in the head, and grind up them eyeballs so they can hand you that In and Out burger, ok? That is NOT the burger your mama made, you know, the one,with the bell peppers hanging out the side. And fast food scandals abound. What is amazing is what we can eat and not drop dead. Well, at least not right then, anyway.

I love chicken wings. It's more of a social even than a meal. In Texas it becomes a challenge to produce a wing that is so hot you can light a cigarette with it. Along came Won. The problem with chicken wings is there ain't much chicken on a wing. Hell, it's just beer food anyway, who’s worried. Millineums, THAT’S who’s worried. They can't be gnawing around some stupid bone, and they're smoking pot anyway. Make the wings a nugget of another shape. Wait! Cost. Them chickens cost “X” and how do you mix an additive to a wing? Well, with a bone in wing you can't, and  the cost of de-boning all them wings, grinding up the meat, and at least TRYING to shape them like a wing . . .well, as you can plainly see, we have what's called a cost issue right away. Ah So! . Just gotta find a replacement that is similar to chicken. Oh, did I tell you that about a million pounds of rat meat, shaped like chicken wings turned up coming in from China. Now, I don't know if there’s any connection, but it just so happens that right after that, Sonic had those two guys in the car on their commercial advertising a two for one sale on, you guessed it . . . BONELESS CHICKEN WINGS! What's wrong with you? Rats? They taste just like chicken.

Mexican food is a big part of the Texas scene. Well, it's not really Mexican food, it something called “Tex-Mex” which is our way of ripping off someone's culture and calling it our own, but down here even babies eat tacos. This style of food is easy to make, tastes great, and basically won't really hurt you, all but the morning toilette, but BE A MAN! Well, wouldn't you know it. You get a bunch of Yankees involved with something that costs next to nothing, and they'll come up with a way to make it cost nothing. You do this because the primary ingredient in this cuisine is that one hundred percent pure ground beef we talked about earlier. Seems that Taco Bell was blending in a little silicon to “beef up” the taco. Their CEO even confirmed it, saying it had been FDA approved, and was safe for human consumption. In fact, it was he same type of silicon used safely for years in breast implants. Now, I'm just a simple ol’ boy from Austin, but I prefer my titties ala carte! God I miss Granny Clampett. ,,

Immunity

Immunity in criminal cases is used to get facts from participants who are not the target of the investigation in order to prosecute the perpetrator of the original crime. Write that down, there's gonna be a quiz later. Let's look at a situation. HomeBoy shoots his connection from a car in some back alley in Ferguson, Missouri. Yeah, I know, I'm a racist, just deal with it and let's move on. So, the cops bring in HomeBoy, and the driver and start sweating them. HomeBoy ain't saying nuttin. Cops notice that the driver is a bit perturbed over the possibility of being Bubba’s boyfriend for the next twenty-five years to life, so they begin to rub it in. Bring him a Coke, but he notices a little jar of Vaseline on the table. After a while the subject zeros in on his involvement with the shooting, mix in a little “good cop, bad cop” and an offer is made. If he rolls over on HomeBoy, not only will they let him walk out the door, they're gonna buy him a ham sandwich, and give back his car. This is called “immunity.”

Now, I give you a second case. HomeGirl sets up a server for emails. Nothing wrong with that, ‘cept this HomeGirl has a very sensitive job in the State Department, and the server is about as secure as the chats between the proverbial thirteen year old girl and the perv sitting in that kitchen watching Chris Hansen walk in. “What are you doing here, Madam Secretary?” Well, as luck work would have it the fertilizer hits the fan and everybody’s butt is on the table. There are five particular butts who have intimate knowledge of this event. But, there is a new wrinkle in the blanket. These five know they will be questioned, and they know they are involved. Do they wait until the hammer is about to fall? Why heck no! They strike an immunity deal before the first question is ever asked. The immunity is so universal that in the end the cops call a press conference and tell everyone, “Nothing to see here, just keep moving!”

Now, I'm just a Simple Ol’ Boy From Austin, but did I miss something here? Thirty-Three THOUSAND emails in a server that was so insecure Russian children are studying them to learn English! I Crappith Thee NOT! A State Department that was so flabber-mouth it announced the arrival of an ambassador so ISIS would be there on time. A candidate that is so devious she crawls to her SUV and the press is told she dropped a contact. Nothing to see here, just move on. And her “evidence” on her opponent? He doesn't like fat chicks, and files taxes like a billionaire.

There is no clean end of a turd. The scary part is that about fifty percent of the voting public, not counting the deceased, of course, think she's the greatest thing since sliced bread! If Hillary wins you don't have to leave the country, the country will have left YOU! Go to Mexico. It'll be empty. Start a new life there.

This is the most decisive election in American history. It's almost as if God, Himself set it up as a test for us to show who we really are, and if we fail the test, we get Hillary, and Bill, and Chelsea, and El Chapo, and Ali Babba! Black lives won't matter, white lives won't matter, NO lives will matter. Hmmm, maybe we can all get “immunity.”

The Case of Jonbenet Ramsey

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Sherlock Holmes said that when you rule out the impossible, what remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth. So it is with the case of JonBenet Ramsey. As we peel the opinion the core becomes obvious. Just like my study of the death of JFK, this case begins to demonstrate facts. In that case I proved that indeed Lee Harvey Oswald did fire the shots, up to, and including a blown up picture done on my iPhone literally showing him in the window wearing the same T-Shirt that he was subsequently arrested in. The remaining question is who put him in that window. Just getting past all the grassy knoll nonsense puts us closer to that finding. When you stop looking for straw man, and look for real men, the dots become much easier to connect.

In the JonBenet case the crime scene wasn't secure. The police ventured several explanations. It was a holiday and they were understaffed. What started out to be a kidnapping became a homicide, at which time they DID secure the area, after asking all the friends and pizza delivery people to leave of course. Even the simplest understanding of the situation shows the flaws here. Six year old beauty queen is missing. The house IS a crime scene. Where did she go, how did she go, and is she maybe still in the house. Police officers trained to sniff out less than a gram of dope missed an entire body in the basement of all places, the body being found by the father.

And what about where the house was? When one reads about the wealth, and position of the family, one would surmise that the home was in an upscale neighborhood. This was not the case. While the Ramseys didn't live in “the hood” they did have at least thirty eight neighbors within two miles who were registered sex offenders. Come to think of it I don't think the hood is that bad. Now, we’ve got this little girl, who looks like a movie star, parading all over the state in beauty pageants with whoEVER in the audience. The Ramseys did NOT live in Neverland, and there WAS no real security. They were secure in their own delusion. That's why John Ramsey puts his little girl to bed, and doesn't give her a second thought until the next morning. If you will note there was no statement saying either parent “checked the kids” before turning in.

Now, let's burn those straw men down. Nothing, either before, or since has ever shown John, Patsy or Burke Ramsey to be a violent, deranged pedophile, and folks, these guys don't find Jesus, they just keep petting them files until they get caught. John and Patsy didn't kill their daughter, they didn't even CHECK her before going to bed! Basic DNA ruled all them out. No shooter on the grassy knoll. It HAD to be an intruder.

The famous cobwebs on the basement window. Since we know the window was compromised, and we know the little girl ended up dead in the basement we know that the basement window had to be the point of entry. Perhaps the Boulder police need to clear the cobwebs out of their heads first, and then worry about the ones on the window.

How did she get to the basement without alerting the family? Tape on the mouth. Simple as that. You don't have to stun gun a six year old girl. Just close her mouth and manhandle her downstairs. Helps if you knock her in the head along the way. The means of death. She is stunned but still alive. When the intruder finishes with her he dispatches her in that fashion. He didn't want her to remember him JonBenet was quick. She would have fingered him quicker than a Happy Meal at a McDonalds.

So, who done it? The man who killed JonBenet Ramsey knew the house. He didn't go looking. He knew the path to the most remote part of the house i.e. The corner of the basement near the window that he came in from. These guys have patterns. He'd done something like this before. He's probably done it since. Thirty-eight of them within two miles. The little girl did a little show at a local mall right before her death, people all over the house during the Christmas season, and he's one of them. Even if the police checked them all out they missed him. They missed the body, too, go figure.

So, how'd it go so wrong? Police, like a lot of professionals have theories they hold to. Theories such as a wife who claims her husband shot himself while in bed. Simple. Husband dead in the bed, wife did it. “We always focus on family first!” Even when it makes absolutely no sense at all, and the evidence of the real killer is being degraded. They were looking at the grassy knoll!

Eventually, because the DNA from her panties and pajamas, JonBenet’s killer will be found. It will amaze everyone, and the crime of the century will turn out to be so simple you will not believe it.

Duct Tape

I was having coffee, glanced at my little table, and had a brilliant freaking thought! As you know, if you read my article, “Why” today, I was expounding the death of JonBenet. Well, I also have been watching endless episodes of “The First 48,” where homicide detectives work feverishly to develop a lead within the first forty-eight hours or their chances of solving the crime will diminish by as much as fifty percent! I noticed a common factor. The same common factor I saw in another series, “Forensic Files.” This evidence was plain in the JonBenet case. I'm surprised that our legislatures haven't noticed it, it was there in plain sight, as I reached for my coffee it hit me. Right there on my table. DUCT TAPE! Nearly all women killed come into contact with duct tape. There is even forensics developed to analyze duct tape. When and where it was made, how sticky is is, or isn't, and ways to lift DNA and fingerprints specifically from duct tape. I Crappith Thee NOT! Google it!

So, I don't know the exact statistics, but I'd be willing to guess that if we could enact Duct Tape Control, we could reduce death to women by at least eighty percent! Forget gun control. Guns don't kill people, DUCT TAPE kills people! Now, admittedly, there are some women who need duct tape, at least on their mouth, certain presidential candidates come to mind, in addition to Mothers Against The Second Amendment, but can't you see? If a maniac cannot buy duct tape the odds of him (or her) being able to commit the crime will be greatly reduced..

Of course there will always be certain people who either have duct tape, or can get it on the black market, so that's the more reason all duct tape should be REGISTERED! Anyone on a “No-Fly” list should be banned from ever purchasing duct tape. Just imagine all the women who'd still be with us if we'd only taken duct tape out of the hands of depraved people.

I know that some states, such as California and Colorado will most likely legalize duct tape within their borders for medical purposes, sex therapy comes to mind, and there will still be duct tape use south of the border. God knows the Cartels use a LOT of duct tape, but if we can just regulate  use of it on a wide scale for law abiding citizens the murder rate will plummet! I should run for president, I really should! I'd be “Yuge!”

Why?

Why? That is the biggest, most profound question in human existence. Why? We see the unexplainable, the horrific, the soul searing, and stare up at the sky, asking, “Why?” You will wait until you're dust, pray until ice forms on your upraised palms, and never be able to comprehend, “Why?”

For the last week I've been studying the death of JonBenet. We’ll never understand the mind of the person who perpetrated the act, indeed, if we understand, then we are as depraved as that person was. No, the why here is why does it make any difference after twenty years. On this I can enlighten you. It makes a difference because the death of that little girl stole not only her life and innocence, but ours as well. We all wish that life were beautiful, and Shirley Temple was forever singing “The Good Ship Lolly Pop,” but JonBenet’s  death reminded us that the ship ran aground that day, and we were forced to look at the crumpled body of our dreams on a basement floor.

I noticed that as I watched documentary after documentary I began to focus more and more on the beautiful, and less on the basement floor. I was absolutely stunned at the talent in that little body, and still asking, “Why?” It's as if God is using her death to teach us a bunch of lessons. God didn't make this happen, man has free will, but once it did happen He used it. He used it to show us what evil is, how we will always be exposed to it, and how we answer the “why” determines how we fight it. God also challenged our arrogance. For all the “trace DNA,” and national data bases, FBI, CIA, NSA, and gumshoes taking a magnifying glass to ever part of that house we will most likely never surely know what happened in that basement in 1996! God knows, and he waits at the Gate behind that big cash register in the sky to total up the bill. JonBenet will have an eternity of dancing with the Angels, and whomever killed her will dance with the devil.

Why? My six year old grandson got to go to school for the first time this year. All his life he got to watch his brothers and sister get on that big yellow bus, and ride off to a mysterious place that he wasn't allowed to go, and he longed for the day when he, too, will be a “big boy,” and take his place on that bus. I'm telling you this because I want you to understand that I feel the wonder, the joy, in a little boy’s mind on that day. My grandson was transformed, invigorated because it was a right of passage. On that day we stopped calling him “New Baby,” and called him by his name, Stevin! Out in Carolina there was another little six year old boy. I know he was just as thrilled to be a “big boy” too, and I know he loved his teachers, his lunch, his books, and the school ground . . . where he was shot while going to his school. He lingered for most of a week, and now he plays with JonBenet. Why?