Thursday, June 11, 2015

What If You Threw a Riot (And Nobody Came)

     Suppose you threw a riot, and nobody came? I'll be honest with you, for all my talk about how we do things down here in Texas I really thought McKinney was about to fire up. And the mainstream media was working it like a dog on a dead armadillo. Speaking of, you will notice the police chief curled up at the very first hit on YouTube. Now I'm not going to call him names, but when I go to see my friend, Tom, well he's got chickens, and there's this stuff that sticks to your feet. That's the police chief over to McKinney, Texas. 

     I saw some New Black Panthers strolling across the Tarmac at the airport. I've always admired that look. You know, the dark suits, shades, frown, really intimidating stuff. Now what's funny is they looked just as serious about some chick getting booty slammed as they would if the cops had machine gunned the who lot of them! 

     "We gotta go to Texas and fight for the people!"

     "What's going on down there? Did some poor defenseless brother get killed for smoking a cigarette?"

     "No, some girl got slapped down, and the cop put his knee on her butt!"

     "Was she black"

     "Yep!"

     "Get the brothers and book a flight."

     I didn't notice Sharpton, yet. I was really looking forward to that. I wanted to meet him. I mean, he DOES have a TV show, and I've always been a sucker for an autograph. So I sat up last night, drinking beer, scanning the news, waiting for the "guns of June" to go off.  NOTHING! Not even one domestic disturbance. I even had the article already done. I just took the one imwrote about Ferguson, and switched the names, dates, and  location. HEY! Works for Al Sharpton! But, this  story just wouldn't fly. And Fox News TRIED, oh God did they try. They finally scrounged up the only fool who got arrested and the charges were subsequently dropped, probably at the insistence of Chief Cover Mi Ase. He mumbled something about "helping that poor girl." That's when I went ahead and did THIS story. I thought that if I give it enough time something would come about. Maybe not the whole down town, but maybe burn the mayor's doghouse . . . SOMETHING! Nope. 

     The Chief said he was very proud of the eleven officers who behaved according to procedures. Ok, dozens of kids running in dozens of different directions while the police trip and flop on the ground. I'm not kidding, watch the video. With ISIS on the edge of the Golan Heights, Iran waiting for its shipment of enriched uranium from the White House, the Chinese going through the US Goverment's databases like they WORK there, we are all focused on a yellow bikini. Hey, like my Puerto Rican friend, Jay would say, "I ain't even gonna lie to you," I was looking at her butt, too. (Lord, I'm sorry I did that, I promise not to do that again.) 

     All this having been said, they just couldn't crank a proper riot out of that bikini. For one thing, it's just too hot to riot in Texas. Up in Ferguson, or Baltimore, you can jump around and act like a fool, but after say ninety-five degrees or so, the energy level goes way down. Uh, maybe that's why the kids were swimming, you think? Also, McKinney is just a darned nice place to live. Summer just started . . . This is TEXAS! 

     One more thing. When someone like Al Sharpton takes hold of a "gig" he plays it over and over until it doesn't sell any more. Sharpton watches the news, waiting for something, anything, that will fit into his race baiting formula. Any time a cop fires his gun, if there is a black person in the STATE, he'll jump on the next flight and fan the flames of fury, collect his fee, and beat feet back to New York, waiting for the next big thing. With the ashes cooling in Baltimore he was desperate. Then, there it was! An itsy bitsy, teeny weenie, yellow poka-dot bikini, with a big ol' white cop sitting right on top of it. This wasn't race baiting, it was race trawling! One problem was, there really wasn't a STORY here. Chief chickened out, cop quit, charges dropped, and the kids went right back to swimming. The people in Baltimore be like, "A bunch of spoiled brats crashed a Country Club swim party being thrown by some other spoiled brats." And let's be honest; that was a beautiful, well fed, well groomed young lady in a very nice swimsuit. I wish she'd crash MY party! Rosa Parks she was NOT!  And them New Black Panthers sure did look good, didn't they? 

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