For the past week I've been doing an extensive investigation. I didn't even tell my associates in Houston due to the sensitive nature. I call it “StupidGate. I have looked into the world of cyber espionage. As you probably know the leader of North Korea, Won Hun Lo, was deeply distressed by the Sony picture "The Interview." Now Sony is, well SONY! When I was a kid I didn't think much of the company because back in the 50's "Made in Japan" meant one thing, and one thing only. Little toy airplanes with bad paint jobs that the wheels fell off of on the first use. That, and we were still irritated about Pearl Harbor. The wheels didn't fall off of THOSE planes! Well, Sony came of age. Actually became a standard in the industry. The little fat kid in North Korea with the funny haircut hacked Sony to pieces!
Then we find that the Russians have been leisurely reading state department emails for at least a year! Like an irritated ex-girlfriend you were stupid enough to give all your passwords to, and she goes up and tells all your friends that you’re gay. The RUSSIANS? Didn't they just figure out toilette paper about ten years ago? Save your fork because this morsel gets sweeter. Yesterday the director of the FBI sat before a committee and freely admitted that the FBI, CIA, and homeland security weren't smart enough to break encryption set up by a thirteen year old girl! He really did that folks. I I saw it on TV. And finally (drum roll please) the Russians came back and shut down the Pentagon! Aren’t those guys in charge of like, nuclear BOMBS? Reminds me when the theory came out about the Russians actually developing AIDS as an attack on Americans. “Comrades, we must develop something that will destroy America. We make virus that kills them when they shoot up drugs or do the anal thing.” Shows what they think of us.
Then we find that the Russians have been leisurely reading state department emails for at least a year! Like an irritated ex-girlfriend you were stupid enough to give all your passwords to, and she goes up and tells all your friends that you’re gay. The RUSSIANS? Didn't they just figure out toilette paper about ten years ago? Save your fork because this morsel gets sweeter. Yesterday the director of the FBI sat before a committee and freely admitted that the FBI, CIA, and homeland security weren't smart enough to break encryption set up by a thirteen year old girl! He really did that folks. I I saw it on TV. And finally (drum roll please) the Russians came back and shut down the Pentagon! Aren’t those guys in charge of like, nuclear BOMBS? Reminds me when the theory came out about the Russians actually developing AIDS as an attack on Americans. “Comrades, we must develop something that will destroy America. We make virus that kills them when they shoot up drugs or do the anal thing.” Shows what they think of us.
In the midst of all this one eye has been steady, one mind unwavering, one hand firmly on the wheel . . . Hillary Clinton! NOBODY has hacked even her thumb drive! She set up her own servers and the Fed started screaming about "not secure!" Not secure? NOT SECURE? Dudes, you didn't know what was on that server until she GAVE them to you, and even then you gave her MONTHS to sanitize them. Bill probably has kiddie porn on them. I’ve said all this before about the FBI. Now, I watch all those forensic shows where they find a pubic hair in a Snickers Bar twenty years after the fact and catch a crook. If you buy that have I got a bridge for you, and it’s on SALE!
If nothing else THIS may be Hillary's long suit. If she wins she should set up her own servers in the White House. At least the Russians won't know our every move. The Russian thing got me. I could see the Chinese doing it, I mean, they're Asian for Christ sake, and you know how THOSE people are. But when the Russians do it, there’s a message there. Maybe we DO have something to worry about with the Iranians and their one bomb.
The Nortes have been walking proud and talking loud, but to be frank they lost it somewhere down the road. Remember Ebola? Yeah, that. Good run until it came to Texas. You can fly all over the country looking for a cardiologist, but if you want to live you got to go to Austin Heart. We invented breast implants! Hey, we have priorities, ok? The hacking of practically the entire federal system shows a flaw that’s been there for a very long time. Now, I’ll admit, I love to catch Yankees with their pants down. And then they go into the spin, which ain’t sex, but it’s close. I told you a long time ago we don’t have to secede. Just let the American’s do their thing and make sure they don’t export it down here. Meanwhile Hillary marches on. Hey, food for thought; it’s not very far from securing your server to fixing an election, but shucks, they’ve been doing that for years!
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