Monday, February 2, 2015

The Big Box

As the sun set on the Big Blue House in Utah a UPS truck pulled up and delivered a box to the porch. All five of the children gathered around in wide eyed amazement at the sheer size of it. Christmas was on the horizon and this was the biggest gift of all. It was as tall as New Baby, and weighed more than both the twins put together. Puck and Just a Bobby circled the box, examining it carefully. Then, all together, in a great effort they moved it into the house, and set it beneath the Christmas tree. Their father, Joe, came down from his room to see the box. Normally, due to his health, he stayed in his room, or the media room in the basement, but the arrival of such a great box demanded that he see it for himself. 

There was no indication on the box as to what lay within, which was no matter because only Puck could read, and not that well at all, but they all reasoned that since it was Christmas, and the box was so great, it simply must be something of value! They went to the media room and began to guess as to what the box contained. 

“It’s a big screen, flat TV,” Puck said. “It can’t be anything else. We know we need one for the upstairs, and mama has been saying we should go to Walmart and buy one.”

“Then why did the green truck bring it?” Just a Bobby replied. “Why didn’t we just go there and pick one up?”

Puck reasoned and then said, “Because it’s Christmas! The box is a gift, and it can’t be opened until Christmas.”

Nick, one of the twins interjected, “It’s too small for a big screen TV. That would make it smaller than the one we have right here. Why would we bring a smaller TV here than the ones we already have.  It’s a bicycle!”

Puck folded her arms, stared at Nick with that serious look of hers and told him, “If it’s too small to be a big screen TV, it’s certainly to small to be a bicycle. How would you get a bicycle in such a box?”

“The bicycle has to be put together,” Nick told her. “They don’t come all put together. We have to go to the garage and get the tools and fix it.”

“Ok smarty pants,” Puck continued, “why one box? There are five of us.”

The other twin, Chris, jumped in, “Because you can’t ride a bike, New Baby’s too little, and Just a Bobby is too clumsy. It is one bike for two twins.”

“Why you?” Puck asked.

“Because we are boys, you are a girl, and everyone knows girls don’t ride bikes!”

After the fight they were all still contemplating the box. Puck went and got a pencil. After looking around to make sure no adults were in sight, she punched a hole in the side and put her eye against it. “I can’t see a thing,” she said in disappointment. 

“Well, ‘course you can’t,” Nick said. “It’s too dark, and the hole is too small. Anyway, how much did you think you could see with such a hole?”

When they were all in bed the debate continued. Guesses ranged from train sets to trampolines, but there was no congress agreeing to any one theory about the contents of the big box beside the Christmas tree. The next day, being two days before Christmas the Big Blue House was buzzing with activity, far too much, and too many visitors for any of the children to get alone with the box. New Baby would walk by and give it an occasional kick, but no sound came from within, and the weight was great for his small size. 

Christmas Eve came, and when the sun set the children were all sent to bed. When the house had settled New Baby rose, tip toed to all the other children, and after telling them to be quiet, led them to the tree. From beneath his pajamas he produced a butter knife, something forbidden, but these were the times that tried children’s souls. 

“I have a plan,” New Baby said. “Since I have the smallest head, we’ll cut a hole in the box, and I’ll stick my head in and have a look.”

“What do we do about the hole?” one of the twins asked.

“Just cut a line. Then put it back together, and we’ll all turn the box around with the cut against the wall. Then, in the morning, we all jump up and down, and ask ma ma to open the box first. We crowd around, and she’ll be so busy opening the box that she won’t see the line.”

After weighing the idea, Puck concurred, and New Baby began the cut. Slowly, the cut became just large enough for New Baby to ease his head within. It was dark still, but the faint trickle of Christmas lights from the tree allowed him to make out shapes. 

“I see a seat, and wheel, no four other wheels.” he said. 

When he pulled his head out, and the box was repositioned they began to guess. 

“What did the seat look like?”

“It was big, and sat in a kind of cage. I put my head right down on it and it even had a pad for sitting.”

“How do you know there were wheels?”

“Well, they looked like wheels, and they were all wrapped in that plastic stuff. They were wheels.”

Puck, being the more analytical than all the rest, began to apply her enormous intellect to the equation. After several minutes she stuck one finger into the air. “It’s a Go-Cart!”

The twins looked at her in disgust, “That’s the stupidest thing we ever heard.”

“No, can’t you see. We can ride a go cart down the hill. We can all take turns, and it belongs to none of us, but we all use it. That’s why it has one seat.”

There was some debate, but, in the end, it was arrived at that indeed, the content of the box had to be a Go-Cart. That was the only logical answer. 

The day started early on Christmas morning. The children made sure everyone was awake by sun up, all running to the tree, and exactly as planned, they raised such a ruckus about the big box that their mother was forced to open it first. Joe sat in his recliner watching. Since the box was not wrapped in paper all the mother had to do was slit the tape binding it and pull the flaps back. The children all rushed in. Their eyes grew wide. New Baby had told the truth for before them was a large apparatus with rails, and a seat, and four separate wheels. They all seized upon it, and pulled it out, setting it on the floor. New Baby retrieved the wheels and figured out that the four small wheels would sit on the bottom. But, there was a problem. Where was the steering wheel? The motor was obviously in the plastic box beneath the seat. Just a Bobby backed up and began to nod his head. 

“I know what it is,” he said.

The other four turned and stared at him. “It’s a Go-Cart,” Puck cried. “It must be a Go-Cart. Just look at the wheels.”

“Yeah, and just look at the hole in the seat. It’s a crapper!”

“A CRAPPER????”

Yep! So daddy don’t have to walk all the way down the hall at night with his bad legs. New Baby stuck his head in a crapper!”

They all slowly turned and stared at the white plastic, which was now so obvious. Scales fell from their eyes, and the awful truth sat there before them. Puck went over to it and ran her fingers over its contours. “Well, it still has wheels, and we can still ride it down the hill when daddy’s not using it.” 

 

No comments:

Post a Comment