You Can't Fix Stupid

     You know I've just about had my fill of ISIS! All you hear is ISIS this or ISIS that. ISIS burned somebody up, ISIS cut some heads off. OK, Muslims of the world, this is where your religion takes you! That's not slander, that's not libel, look at the news. Every day this camel gang does something that gets in the news and the rest of the Middle East wrings its greasy hands in woe.  Where oh where are the Americans? Dudes! YOU are the ones that can't control a street gang, ok? Oh, I'm so sorry, did I hurt your widdle feelings?

     The Arabs have been sucking that oil tit so long they've forgotten that they're really a bunch of illiterate camel jockeys who just recently got salt and pepper. I know, I know all about the spice routes back in the day, but that day is long since over. When I say that I'm a simple ol' boy from Austin I MEAN it! Now y'all are waiting on me to do the Texas thing and start advocating war, but I'm a gonna fool ya. No war! Just leave, and let Mohammed figure it out. When ISIS is worried about that next bowl of gruel they won't be torching any more pilots. A hungry Arab is a good Arab. "Oh Wilbur, what about the children?" What about 'em? Ain't my kids! I got five rug rats of my own and they don't like Arabs either. They think they taste just like chicken! 

     And Obama, don't get me started. When ISIS gets out of line what do we get? "Now y'all get back in line, now!" I'm not going to say anything real bad, but back in the day, you know, before the war of Northern Aggression, he would have been the one who worked in the house.  You can't really blame him. Here's the way Americans fight a war now. Go in, blast everything to smithereens, then apologize, give 'em a lot of money and guns. Don't forget the CIA. I want to ask you, and be honest, has the CIA ever done anything successfully, other that killing JFK? Don't bring up the twin towers Michael Bee. That was too tight. CIA couldn't have been involved. That was the Hell's Angels did that one. 

     So what you got is a well fed, well armed bunch of religious nuts tooling around doing whatEVER they want, and the entire world, including the mighty Russians and Chinese are soiling themselves wondering what to do. When we achieve Texas independence we will show you bunch of girly men what to do about ISIS. Nada! We will ignore the entire Middle East. We're going to drill for oil, wreck their economy, build a fence around Texas, and SHOOT anything we find that is brown and doesn't speak Spanish! No planes from Africa or the Middle East. Their tires don't fit our runways. We don't need the Chinese either. We GOT rice! 

      Boy, I'll bet all that irritates some people. Some idiotic girl with the government said yesterday that the solution to ISIS was not killing them, it was jobs! Well baby, there ain't not jobs. We've given them to all the wetbacks streaming over the border. "Oh Wilbur, you called all them undocumented immigrants 'wetbacks." Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm from Texas, deal with it! 

     Official Republic of Texas Policy. No more ISIS! I don't CARE what they do over there. America is jockeying around yet another war to line the pockets of the Saudis. You know, those wonderful people who raised Osama Bin Forgotten. The ones who give forty lashes to a teenage girl with good legs. Yeah, THOSE guys! People, you can't fix stupid! Stop trying and stop talking about ISIS.  #ISIS #angelbox