SlingVote

Slingvote. Remember that, there’ll be a quiz later. Texas Nationalists have long held to the idea that somewhere in the agreement that brought Texas in to the Union there was some kind of pre-nuptial agreement that provides an easy exit should Texas ever decide to go it on its own. I, myself have spoken of this many times. Well, truth be known, while that was discussed back then, it was never formalized in writing.

You see, the whole Texas plan from day one was to rip the territory away from Mexico and join the United States. There was never any doubt what the filibusters were doing down here, and the Republic formed after San Jacinto was almost with the understanding that the Republic of Texas would someday be the State of Texas, and Mexico could just suck it up. When the treaty between Texas and The United States was signed, however, there was no “divorce” clause. I know! I tried to find it today to quote here, and nada!

There is, however, a slippery little way for Texas to put it to the US, and make them think it's their idea. Texas was go gosh darn big that it was decided that should the citizens therein ever decide to break it up that they could split into as many as five different states. Just like that! It's part of the deal, folks, check it out. These would be along regional lines, i.e. East Texas, West Texas, North Texas, South Texas, and, of course, an area I like to call Costa Royal. (That would be the Texas “SoCal.”) These divisions of the Lone Star State would be separate, yet still the heritage of old time Tejas. These fellas have met!

Don't you wanna know what happens next? Why, what was formally Texas gets eight more senators, that’s what! What was formerly Texas has ten senators up in Washington, and boys and girls, they’ll probably vote in a block. Some folks call this a slingvote, some call it gerrymandering, I call it a slingvote, um hum! Want to know how votes work? Well, sometimes things get crazy, and all the senators gravitate toward a foregone conclusion, but most of the time the vote is close, so close that the president starts twisting arms just to get one or two senators to go his way. There was this guy back in the day who commanded a huge slot of voters. He was  very into prohibition. He had this theory. He didn't have to get fifty-one percent of any vote. He just had to control that ten percent of loyal followers who'd vote any way he told them to. This was guaranteed to swing just about any vote in any election anywhere, and by golly that's exactly what he did! Using this idea he unseated governors, congressmen, senators, and dog catchers any time he wished. He just tell them there tea-totalers what box to mark and “God’s” will would be done. That’s how we got prohibition.

So, you end up with ten Texas senators where two used to be. When they cast their votes the board just met. The tail would officially wag the dog, and since American liberals and conservatives can't even agree on which restrooms to use we’ll tell ‘em all to squat!. Heeere’s your sign. If we ever start moving in that direction the Nortes will squat, and lose their selective ca ca. Even New York and California will be our, well, just think of a slang term for a female dog. Some folks call it a slingvote, some call it gerrymandering, I call it a slingvote, um hum! Secession? We won't have to secede, they’ll secede from us!