Anyway, when my mind returned I went over the past week's news and the raid on the Republic of Texas meeting down in Bryan. And listening to that Po-Dunk sheriff talking about people just issuing summons from non existent courts. The next time he says something can someone please slap him. On one hand we have a bunch of Muslims wanting to set up courts and circumcise the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders, and right down the street we have some lame brained gum shoe initiating a major raid on a bunch of old men for sending out some "summons" to some cockamammy "judge" who didn't even have sense enough to ignore it. And they brought the FBI, too! We're they THAT worried about these old farts overthrowing the government. ISIS doesn't bother Obama but old white men with beards sure mess him up. Must be a "black" thing. I wish I'd known it was that easy to run that prick off!
Ok, ignore the summons thing, that was just a ruse. What the laws was all perked about was the perceived legitimacy of the Republic of Texas pseudo government. You see the GOVERNMENT is not the COUNTRY. Now this is gonna get tricky, students, so pay attention, cause there'll be a test. The land you stand on, and call home is NOT the government. No matter what government paves the roads, and steals your paycheck, Texas is still Texas. Heck, a little over four hundred years ago the Indians thought they ran things. You all know how that worked out. Then, along come the Mexicans, the Anglos, and I think the Mexicans are back, but no matter . . . Same ol' scrub oak and sand! Just ask yourself one question; if all sixty of those crazy old men in Bryan were elected to office in Austin, do you think that might just shake up the old plutocracy a tad? Sixty wild eyed old Texans, voting as a block every time some nonsense like Gay Marriage, Open Carry, Immigration or Muslim day hits the floor. Wow! It wouldn't be sex, but it would be damn close!
But, they all lost their cell phones and got finger printed. In light of this I am starting a new movement. I'm going to give it a clandestine name to confuse the FBI and Obama. I mean we already know he can't spell respect, and that was a BLACK song, so here goes. COBS! Yep, dey it is! Stands for Crazy Old Bastard Society. I come up with that because my daddy used to tell me that most police and all Yankees act like they had a cob stuck up their butts. And if that sheriff down in Bryan didn't have a cob up his but I'm not a white boy from Austin. Swat them bees!
I'll be the first president, of course, because I'm the craziest old bastard in Texas. Now there's not a shortage of opinionated old pricks down here, so we won't have any problem coming up with a congress. We won't be sending out any summons, though. When someone gets crossways with us we'll just put raw shrimp in their hub caps, or something like that. We'll champion Open Carry; the right to drink a beer while driving around the lake on Sunday, and open marriage, the right to marry any girl of age for a trial period before solidifying the deal. That depends of course being ABLE to close the deal, which at our age is not written in stone.
So, COBS will replace the Republic of Texas. All sixty of those gentlemen harassed in Bryan are hereby charter members. I have to come up with a flag that won't offend anyone. We will have to come up with a constitution, but that'll be easy. We'll just use the US one, they're not doing anything with it at the time. Let me run this by a few people and see how far it gets.
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