I’d like to give a word of explanation on my article this morning. I have a continuing discussion with someone about religion. Now I’m going to be frank here. This person is a fundamentalist, and subscribes to what I call, “folk religion.” A lot of self interpretation, very little analyzation, textual criticism, and no room for any other opinions, and that’s ok. In my younger days I used to get all fired up about such things, but, you know, you grow. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, we all have a gene in our head that makes us try to complete circles. All religions have a core that tries to complete the circles. The problems arise when someone begins to invent circles.
You can find anything you want in the Bible. In over a thousand years the Rabbis and priests and various others who inputted the books of the Bible covered practically every possible scenario. The morality of Proverbs is superb. King David shacking up with one of his general’s wife, well, that was a little bit California. But, don’t you see, that’s where fundamentalism falls a little short. David and his girl friend, and boys and girls, that’s what she really was, had Solomon, and their unholy union was blessed. Talk about a magic bullet! But, Solomon was a good ol’ boy, ok? Smart kid, built a temple, had lots of wives, and made a lot of money.
Now, I see the hackles raising up on some Baptist necks so let me explain. David was human. GOD, was he human! Solomon was human, also. The Bible accepts that, and doesn’t make any excuses. God took a bad deal and made the best of it that He could. If you took the story of David and his son and ran it by a modern social worker you would get dysfunctional family, sexual predator, spoiled little rich kid, and Solomon would have been removed by the CPS and given to a nice Palestinian family to foster. Thank God for God!
The Bible is full of this stuff. That’s because it takes real people in real situations making real mistakes and showing the outcome. When you get fundamentalism there is no room for forgiveness. And most of them claim to speak for God. The final analysis is that God can’t get a word in edgeways. When confronted by any opposing opinion they quote, and quote, and quote, and if you have a variance then YOU are challenging God Himself because they, and only they speak for the almighty and you are a goin’ to HAYELL!!!
There are common sense solutions in the Bible. Jesus said the time will come when if you own a coat and a cloak to sell the coat and buy a sword. Doc Greene transcribes that into buy a gun! The fundamentalist’s hair would catch on fire upon hearing that, but Jesus really said it! He also told a story about a smart manager who upon learning he is to be fired embezzled money from his master, and upon being caught the master rewarded him for being so clever! This, by the way is a direct confirmation of something I said this morning. We need politicians because they are clever and we need clever people to pave roads, build infrastructure a make laws. We need bad dogs int he yard at night. We do not need bad dogs in bed with us!
My mother taught me common sense Christianity. I was told there was no Adam and Eve, that was a simple story telling that we came from somewhere and were somehow all related. Moses did not part the Red Sea any more than some Cajun can part the swamp and you must read all the King James Bible with a grain of salt. Use your mind! Now, if you want to believe all of the above, and that gives you a warm fuzzy, that’s cool, but please don’t think you have a monopoly on Holy Edict, and you do not have all the answers or the keys to Heaven or Hell.
Combine all this with the fact that I’m sixty-three years old. I’m not being arrogant here, but Ihave seen it all! I saw David Koresh. I didn’t just watch CNN. I saw Luby’s, and I know what happens when we drink the Kool Aid of Democratic gun control. So, when someone comes up with some cockamamie idea about how to interpret what some Rabbi said three thousand years ago I just grin and smoke a cigarette.
This is not to say that I do not believe in God, because I do. My God is just smarter than I am, that’s all. I know when I’m wrong. It’s wrong to get multiple divorces. I know that. My life has been a matrimonial mess! I’ve made so many mistakes that when I fall short I figure I had it coming and God finally caught up with me. Every now and then God gives me a cookie. He gave me one yesterday, but I can’t tell you about it here because it’s “family” and I’m still laughing my butt off.
In short, the article was not meant to really anger people, it was common sense. The world is a big place, and everybody fits. Well, maybe not the Muslims, but everybody else. If you buy into the idea that we are all defended from some little brown girl about three feet tall in Africa then we really are all brothers and sisters. If you accept that there is a God who made the little brown girl then you simply have to be aware the He had a plan. Can we figure out the plan. Easier to figure out the remote control on a DVD!
“. . . God lays his plans
This information’s not available to the mortal man
We’re working our jobs
Collect our pay
Believe we’re gliding down the highway
When, in fact, we’re slip sliding away.”
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