Friday, January 9, 2015

About Me



     All my stuff is original, right off the top of my head, and I wrote the piece about Texas Independence yesterday just after the Round Table. I write "off the cuff" and call myself "A Simple Ol' Boy From Austin." That way, if I foul up I can always say, "Hey, I TOLD you I was stupid!" Originally I was a song writer, adult country humor to be exact. Although I'd written three books I didn't consider myself a prose writer. I put one or two little comments up on Doc Greene's chat room. I'd always had several Facebook pages, but never developed them. Little by little I began to expand the comments to articles and put them up on various pages and groups. A friend of mine suggested I do a blog. I've always considered a blog to be a poor man's publishing, but it took little effort so I ran one. Then someone suggested that I string the articles together and do a book, so I did. I published through Amazon, which is another poor man's effort, but the price is right. I wasn't particularly happy with the layout, and getting them to accept the cover was an ordeal, but the words were all there. That, and the fact that I wrote the book on an iPhone. Published it from an iPhone too. How cool is THAT?  I began to attend political events, and drawing upon what I was writing I actually had something to say. The stats began to pile up and I realized this was working, which was never my intention at all. Bear in mind I was retired after a career in Nashville and Austin. Divorced, I had been  living with my son out in California and hanging out near Ocatillo Wells. My ambition was to have Martinis with co-eds and play guitar on the beach. I migrated back to Texas, and ended up taking care of my five grandchildren which my ex had adopted and actually looking after her husband who had been diagnosed with Agent Orange and cancer. He actually subscribed to my blogs and began to discuss Texas politics with me. The man has three bronze stars and a purple heart. When I would tell him I was "thinking" about going to some rally he'd rush out, buy me a new suit of clothes (I'm a desert rat) and insist that  I go! They eventually moved up to Salt Lake and left me to care for the two houses back in Texas. (So much for retirement.) 

     So, I began a routine of putting up an article a day on Raging Elephants and various groups and blogs and sitting on the porch composing on my iPhone, none of which I took very seriously. I made the style simple so the average reader could understand. I would take an issue, step back, look at it, and ask, "What's REALLY going on here?" Originally I made it salty. Since I was a song writer I made the articles "go 'round in 'circles." I used key phrases like, "Swat them bees," and "Save your fork," to alert the reader. I read a lot, but I don't do research per sae outside of checking the correct spelling of someone's name and the reason I do that is if I can't understand and remember then how can I expect the reader to? I learn by listening to people who obviously have more comprehension than I, and for the most part they have been very supportive. 

     I never argue, and I'm never rude. I'm very aware that I'm a beginner with absolutely NO training. I'd end up on a radio show with some guy who had more degrees than a thermometer and i didn't have the background to debate a brisket recipe, much less the New World Order! About the worse I've ever done is to ask a professor on Michael Bee's show, who was expounding his theory of the black tribes in Africa civilizing Egypt and the western world, why I couldn't find any great pyramids in the Congo. (He told me the Illuminati  had "cloaked" them!) 

     Being an adult humorist I originally used very salty language, but began to pull back as I realized people were actually READING my stuff!  My first book on this subject, "A Simple Ol' Boy From Austin" was so so, but I'm now putting together a second book, "I Crappith Thee NOT," in which I will zero in more on style, and content. 

     I don't expect to hit the best seller list. I am retired and between me, and my husband in law we have three homes. The old sarge is hanging on for dear life because he wants to get a place out in SoCal and have me to take him sand railing across the Mojave Desert before he dies. The way I look at it I will never get an honorable mention in the New York Times, but hey . . .I live in Texas! You can buy a lot of beer with 50,000 sales! 

     I am always grateful for people who put up with me, and I learn from greater minds than my own. Just yesterday I had a group of people sitting around listening to the round table and one of them asked,"What are you going to say?" I grinned, looked at him and replied, "I have absolutely NO idea. Ain't that a bitch?" But just like years ago in Nashville, when the curtain goes up it's SHOWTIME!

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