I'd like to expand on an idea here. I was talking about stupid people, and I apologize. It's rude to call people stupid. Everyone tries to adapt to their circumstances. I think I'm on the ball, but if you out me in the Outback of Australia with a boomerang I might not fare so well. The Aborigines would be pointing, and laughing at "Stupid."
That having been said, I want to share some things. I was talking about a certain girl I know the other day and she's a real person. I've been trying to reach that stupid bi . . .there I go again! Ok, I've been trying to school this lady without much success, and it exasperates me. Did you ever have a dog that simply refuses to be housebroken? Ever try to walk a cat in a leash? Well, she's like that. But, you try. The beautiful thing about trying to bring someone like that up to par is that the very act hones your own skills. By explaining to them, you in effect explain to yourself! But, this has to occur within yourself. No one else can do it for you. It's like going to a psychiatrist, and they try to tell you things about yourself that YOU don't know. Of course you agree because you're paying this clown to talk, but that doesn't mean it works. Still, I'd like to throw a few tid bits out there.
Over the last couple of years I've taken several tests, just for the fun of it. It has been pretty well ascertained that I have an IQ of around 180 or so, and my literacy and comprehension is in the top one percent, but for God's sake keep that between us, I'm trying to construct an image here! You aren't born smart, you GET smart. If you have the moxie to absorb and retain knowledge over the years, and enough intelligence not to step in front of a bus, at some point in time you get old enough to at least present the illusion of wisdom simply by the act of having survived for so long. In the light of this fact I have made several astute observations.
I never try to talk "down" to someone. I avoid confrontation and heated debates. My reasoning is simple. When a heated debate ensues it only goes to follow that each side is firmly entrenched in their position, else there wouldn't be such a discussion in the first place! Neither side is going to budge. Now, when one side has absolutely no foundation for their position you are spitting in the wind trying to change their mind because they don't know where they are in the first place, so how in the world will they have an inkling as to where they are heading, especially in a debate?
When talking with this person, or persons, I naturally base my discourse on life experiences. You will note that when your opponent is without foundation they HAVE no life experiences, and if they had any then they certainly didn't learn anything so they fall back on two things ; some untested theory they burn in their own crazy mind, or some theory another person, with equal savvy deposited into their brain that made absolutely so sense when it was dreamed up, and makes even LESS sense when recited by the recipient thereof! Since you are arguing with Mickey Mouse you will never win, and they will never change their mind. If you are having this type of discussion with a woman my advice is to keep pouring her drinks until you both arrive at what she's really good for. THAT'S a theory she's got pretty well figured out. Yeah, I know, Mothers Against Procreation . . . deal with it!
The ideas I try to impart result from having lost my butt so many times that it is a miracle I can even use the toilette anymore. I should be on one of those bags they sew onto your side. I've honestly made three fortunes, and lost them all (now who's stupid?) and I'm working on the next. I'm playing a numbers game. I out lived the first three. I'm hoping, at my age, the next one will outlive ME! You see, that's what retirement really is. You hope you'll cash in before the money does. And I just love life insurance. Some insurance company is betting that you'll never die, and if you do, you win! I have made tentative preparations for my funeral. I want to be cremated, and pulverized into a very fine powder, and mixed with the body powder used by the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders. Anyway, I digress.
One must be very careful when trying to school a fool. Yeah, I really said that, but hear me out. First of all, you must avoid three syllable words and don't even consider four. This Texas girl has key phrases that she can process quite well. "You wanna nother beer?" That always assimilate that quite well. "I think you're real smart," is another. That works because with all those Loony Tunes swirling around in her head she thinks she's a GENIUS! You have to know what you're dealing with. Never ever tell her she's stupid. You must remember that she has everything figured out, and should she become confused she will always text the boyfriend who is riding her child support like a biker on a new Harley, which very well may be what the boyfriend is anyway.
You also must understand the culture, and that is a dynamic which changes with each generation. I am particularly amused by the relationship categories that evolve. Time was you had wives, ex-wives, and girlfriends. The girlfriend most likely being the reason you now have an EX-wife in the first place! Now we have a new designation. "My baby mama!" No, I did not make a typo, there is no "s" behind the word "baby," that's how they say it. So, we have a man married to a woman. He has a girlfriend, BUT he's got someone else on the trot line solely for making babies. "My baby mama!" Figure THAT one out, ancestry dot com!
Another lengthy debate I have endured is adultery. I have had one of these critters look me dead in the face and try to convince me that when she's married to one guy, SEEING another guy on the side, it's NOT adultery UNLESS she gets pregnant! Your response to such an assumption? "You wanna nother beer?" Now mix in the circumstances of a military marriage where she says while the above rule applies to her, if HE should stray even the Nth degree it is ALWAYS adultery and, of course, SHE gets his entire paycheck for a period of three years which leads us to another legal axiom.
The "contract" marriage. Lo das, lo das, tu jour Lo das! Let me educate you a bit on this one. The area around any military base is filled with people who have absolutely NOTHING on the ball. They spend their days making their living from the military payroll when is as steady as a clock. In this group,there is a subset. If a service member is married he (or she)'gets a little bonus on payday. Basic Allowance for Housing. Now, if the marriage is for all the right reasons there is nothing wrong with this, but enter another variation. A couple gets together and arrives at a plan. Service member gets the BAH, and spouse gets military benefits! Talk about capitalism! Now they're not, like, in love. This is a "contract" between them to milk the system, AND like my little misguided friend will quickly point out, THIS is the reason that SHE is not committing adultery with previously mentioned boyfriend. I've actually been told that one of these little jewels was planning to tell a judge to his face, "We had a contract marriage and HE broke the deal!" I crappith Thee NOT!
So, anyway, I continue to work with these people. Why should I do this. Is it for the edification of mankind? Is it because I'm driven by a sense of duty to try to raise them to a standard by which they may eventually succeed and become good, prosperous members of society? Naw! The way I see it if some chick is that whacky, and there's no changing. . . . "You wanna nother beer?" Hey Dudes and Dudettes, I have told you if you're going to dig dirt on me, better bring a dump truck.
No comments:
Post a Comment