ISIS vs the HomeBoys

     Killeen has been targeted by ISIS! I don't know what we did to deserve that singular honor, but I'm sure we'll live up to it. My town of residence has had not one but TWO mass shootings. If a gunfight doesn't kill at least three people the Killeen Daily Flabbergasted doesn't even run it on the front page. You can't even buy a pack of cigarettes in this town after dark without packing. I grew up here and think all that is normal! This is the only town in the country that ENJOYED Vietnam. 

     So now a bunch of ragheads want to "target" Big K. Well, I think we've finally come up with a solution to the ISIS crises. The boys what don't eat no ham thought it was real cute to burn that guy up in a cage. Let's see how they feel when Jamial  throws them in the trunk of a car and fires THEM up! That's AFTER he pimps their old lady out down on Avenue D. You cost the boys in the hood ONE gram, and they'll torch every Mosque in sight. Running around the desert over there raising hell is all very fine, but it won't fly in a town where cars don't even pull over for a FUNERAL! And NObody is anonymous in Killeen, Texas! You don't just blend into the crowd. A terrorist here among the homies would be like nine wolves and a sheep deciding what they're gonna have for dinner. 

     I get accused of being a racist all the time. Oh my living God! Look where I grew up! There were those who bought into all that political correctness nonsense when I was young. They're all out on Boot Hill now and we drop flowers by on occasion. Killeen is as racist as Al Sharpton at a KKK dinner, and has no problems with it. And Hadji thinks he's just gonna slip into town and light a bomb? If the bomb has any metal in it the homeboys will steal it and sell it for meth. And forget that cell phone that was gonna be the trigger. They'll steal that FIRST! 

     And don't EVEN go around passing money out. In a town where Fort Hood shoots BILLIONS into the local economy you ain't gonna get much respect. Oh, yeah, I forgot about all those widow makers running around out there, still mad because some OTHER raghead pulled a mass shooting off right under their noses. They've ALL got PTSD and they've ALL got a gun! And do you want to know what's scary? We LIKE it! I guarantee you that right now there are some guys over on the north side, who read that article, just cracking their knuckles and gritting their teeth, planning to rob the Arab owned store down the street "jus cause!" Killeen will NOT be a safe place to be brown and not speak Spanish. 

     When CJ Grisham got his open carry pushed through about a week ago someone actually asked me, "You mean that wasn't legal already?" Killeen is the only town where when the cops come to your house and find you packing they ask where you bought to gun and how much did it cost. Been there, SEEN that! So ISIS, we can't stop you from coming, but we sure as shooting can arrange for you a nice trip home. Jus Sayin!