I had a wonderful evening. A friend came over, with Scotch, and we talked for hours, and guess what the topic was. ME! My friend moves in mysterious circles. Anyway, he gave me a story that was so good I just had to tell YOU. Seems the NSA has this thing called a "Theory." There's this room up there in Utah or some place filled with busy little bees with one thing on their minds. My articles! Yep, you got it. And the next time you fill out a check to the IRS just remember, you PAY these clowns! Anyway, they have this chart thing. All the militias they can identify are on it. Kinda looks like a pyrmid, I guess. At the bottom are all the "soldiers'', and it gets narrower and narrower as you get near the top, and at the very tip top is. . . you guessed it. . . WEIRD WILUR!
Seems they imagine that my articles are really coded messges from "headquarters" streaming out to all the patriots in Texas. I use some kind of "code" that they're trying to break, so as to be able to stop the insurection at the source. I crappith thee NOT! Now bear in mind I can't PAY most people to read my nonsense, but these idiots line up to see the next bit of stupidity emenating out of beautiful, downtown Killeen, Texas! I'm so blessed.
The NSA made a big mistake here, however, never to be one to let grass grow beneath my feet, watch me use this to increase my distribution. Don't tell a songwriter someone is buying! For the record there is nothing dubious about my articles. I always thought I was straight out. I don't think I could call the Americans any more names, but it seems that when I write, "The Nortes are a bunch of homosexual ass clowns," they assign a team to try to figure out what I really mean.
Ok, attention NSA. I have a suggestion. You need to get into my mind, and here's the way to do it. Get the CIA (another pack of ass clowns) to send over a beautifil twenty year old spy. Have her bring a box of Olivas, and a fifth of Jim Beam. If she's wearing a girl scout uniform and has a box of cookies that'll be a nice touch. Anyway, order her to spend the night with me, and by the morning I think you'll know what Weird Wilbur is all about.
Simple Ol' Boy From Austin
www.patrioticwarriors.com
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