Let's look at the three biggest Al Sharpton hits of the last five years. Trayvon Martin, Michael Brown, and the late, great Freddie Gray! Now just what do these guys all have in common? A) If Obama had a son he would look like them. B) They were on the way to the store to pick up some cigars, Skittles, or maybe a little CRACK, or C) All three were SCUMBAGS! I think the answer is C, but I'm just a simple old boy from Austin, so what do I know?
Black people! If you're going to find a martyr, a little background check would be NICE! And this last cat, OMG! I grew up with a guy named "Jr" who was a HIT man and he didn't have a rap sheet that long! How did this guy stay out of jail for five minutes? And one other thing they all have in common: Death By STUPID." Martin punches a Mexican in the nose who is packing. I know, I know, he wasn't a Mexican, but I'm from Texas so just deal with it, ok? Brown charges a cop AFTER he robs a store, AND slaps said cop in the mouth, and Gray is selling crack on main street DOZENS Of times and gets PINCHED! Yeah, yeah, yeah, they broke his neck. Maybe shoulda stayed in the crack house. You think?
All three times black folk lost their collective minds, spilled out into the street, and lit up the neighborhood. Not all black folk, just the ones who had a lot of time on their hands. Little Alex Hill got killed by the CPS down here in Texas, and didn't even get a nose thumb from Obama orJack in the Sharp, but then she was only two years old and she was white, and I suppose that means something.
They pour into the streets in righteous indignation and loot! I saw one looter sprinting away with a four pack of paper towels. There's your next martyr! Y'all swat them bees now, you hear? Back in my day our looters stole TV sets! And looters out in LA can get DOWN! When they strike a match the fuzz don't even show up for work! Ah, the good old days. But, I digress. I don't know anything about Baltimore. I think it's up in Maryland somewhere, but I KNOW Missouri! Missouri SUCKS! When I seen the fires light up in Ferguson I thought, "Good job!" But then, that's just me. I humped equipment down in Branson one summer for Rodney Dilliard, and I hate every square INCH of Missouri!
Couple days ago I said I couldn't find a solution for these riots. Well, I lied! I had a solution, but I was wimping out. Here it is. CONSTITUTIONAL
CARRY! WHOMP, Dey it is! You give a pistola to every mother's son and just stand back and sell tickets! "Oh Wilbur! You'd just have the wild west." DUDES! You GOT the wild west! I'm just trying to bring a new sheriff to town, that's all. What do you suppose would happen if a bunch of rioters were on their way to burn down a laundry, and Fong Yong, his three daughters, two sons, and assorted cousins were all waiting down there armed to the gills? No tickee, no laundry! And don't even trip over and jump on the Quickie Mart staffed with Omar and the boys. Seventy-two virgins any one?
Cops are real good at beating up a coed for jay walking, especially since are six of them and one of her, but they ain't worth a FLIP when it comes to facing a crowd of drunk thugs. If the math's not right the cops will opt for the donuts every time. (You cops can swat them bees, too!) It takes PEOPLE to inflict good crowd control. And guns. Lots of guns. I'll bet I've got Mothers For Gun Sense In America puking in their little girl's back right about now, but that's ok. I'll say one thing for sure. Cure for scumbags. Martin . . .CURED! Brown . . . CURED! Gray? Absolutely cured. But, Jesus loved 'em all. The rest of thinking Americans just think they were thugs! Is there anything I missed?
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