Just when you think things can't get any funnier someone like Rosemary Lehmberg pops up and life is born anew. I wanted to donate some time to this. I touched on it yesterday but I wanted just the right atmosphere before I dealt with this subject in depth. I didn't want to do it from my back porch, which is my usual location for any serious writing. That, and I had to have just the right libation to create the mood. In her honor I chose vodka martinis, which is as close to gay as I like to get, being a straight up gin man myself. Vodka martinis are really not a martini. It's a lady's drink. I prefer gin because if it don't bite it ain't right. Anyway, I digress.
Let me update the uninformed. Last year the illustrious District Attorney of no less than Travis County, Texas went barreling through Austin, stewed to the gills, with a half bottle of vodka riding along in the passenger's seat, and, as so often happens, one of Austin's finest jacked her holiness up. She might have gotten away with it cept she was using the bike lane for a passing lane, and Austin may be weird, but it ain't THAT weird. Now she was three times the legal limit of blood alcohol, which if you understand the legal limit is .08 that put the right honorable Rosemary Lehmberg at right about 2.4. In laymen's terms that is snot slinging, commode hugging drunk, and I should know, having been there on many occasions myself. How drunk IS that? Well, the last time I got into a whiskey drinking contest and tipped the scale to that degree I fell off the FLOOR! She had blood in her alcohol system.
One would expect that a woman who has risen to the office of DA would have the knowledge, or at least the common sense to behave herself while being filmed during an arrest. I mean how many DWIs has she prosecuted, huh? Not our Rosemary. Nosiree. She paraded around like a beached whale, kicking doors, asking if the officers knew who she was, name dropping, and shifting between laughter and rage as they tied her to a chair. That's right. They had to restrain this esteemed jurist to keep from hurting herself or others. Like a drunk biker mama. After she made her big splash at the Austin PD she pled out and did something like twenty days for her situation. (Wonder how the ol' docket worked out down at the office.)
Now, wouldn't you figure that her career would have a least have taken a left turn at Congress and MLK after this. Hell NO! Not in the world of Austin politics. Onward through the fog. Keep Austin weird. She just took her fat ass right back to work just like she had good sense. (I'm not kidding, folks. You can't make this stuff up!)
It just so happens that this star supporter of Twin Liquors (twenty-three gallons of Cirroc in fifteen months) is also the head of something called the Public Integrity Unit which is charged with prosecuting public crimes. Now the rules are that she should have been removed from office under the Texas Local Government Code which in chapter eighty-seven specifically states such officials may be removed for habitual drunkenness. Well, she is a democrat and Governor Perry is a Republican. Austin is the hotbed of democratic power so a number of other DAs and democratic notables rallied to her cause and as you know, she remained firmly in place. No problem! Perry just said that if the DIDN'T step down he would veto any funding of that "integrity" committee since a DRUNK was running it.
Well he did it and some liberal watchdog group called Texans For Public Justice filed an ethics complaint which round about ended up with Governor Perry getting INDICTED on a felony for delivering an unlicensed bitchslap to Rosemary's dead poets society. What amazes me is the fine folks if Austin, who march in the street when someone cuts down a tree, don't see what's wrong with this!
Perry is a consummate politician. One cannot imagine he didn't see this Chihuahua snapping at his heels, and had plans for her to his own good purpose. I think Rick Perry will survive this, in fact I KNOW he's gonna survive this, and Lehmberg's little effort to kidnap his political career will end up being Rosemary's Baby, a perverted, drunken monster who just crapped in her lunchbox!
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